Firstly, let me remind you one thing, which I hope you understand after having read this post. Sharing your life experiences is not airing your dirty laundry. Writing about what has happened to you, what you have experienced and what you have learned from is real life.
If I had read a blog post like this one before experiencing what I'm about to write about; then it probably would have never happened, because I would know the signs to look out for. Food for thought there. Please be kind.
I always said on social media and in person that I was in a bubble of happiness, but it was actually just a bubble of lies. A fairy tale with a bad ending. A fake prince charming.
Despite only "being together" for 7 weeks, I had known him for a long time beforehand. I think that's why it hit me hard when I found out the truth. I was angry, upset and felt more hurt than I ever have before. I felt so stupid at thinking that I had found the man for me. Little did I know, that inside of him was a(nother) compulsive liar, who was programmed to think that deceitfulness and using someone is okay.
So, where do I even begin?
On the night of our first date, he picked me up and was waiting outside by his car with a bunch of flowers. That's never happened to me before, so not only did he tick that box, but he made an effort to look and smell nice (you know that manly smell that makes us women go weak at the knees), so it was going swimmingly well. Or so I thought.
He had been single a couple of months, after his relationship of a few years ended. I am not someone who really talks about ex boyfriends and past dates on a first date... or even a second or a third. However over drinks, I soon found myself in a conversation with him about his ex girlfriend. You know the usual stuff a guy says... she's psycho, controlling, doesn't let him go out, has a weird family, is unattractive to him now etc. The stuff I am pretty sure every single ex boyfriend of mine has told their new dates too.
Lesson 1: If your date starts talking about their ex on your first or second date, it's likely they are not over them. Avoid and run for your life.
Of course, I was head over heels for a guy who I was rather attracted to (beards just do it for me), who made me laugh a lot (I snorted a lot, actually) and who did the right things to put a smile on my face. We saw each other a lot over the next few weeks and within three weeks, he wanted to make it "official". I was a little hesitant, but he assured me that his previous relationship was over a long time before it was officially over, so what did I have to worry about?
Lies. Many, many sweet lies is what I had to worry about next. I saved a few of my favourite ones below, so you can try to begin and understand why I am writing this post. Not as a "revenge post" as some people have called my previous one. Definitely not as a way to air my dirty laundry. More as a warning to the thousands of you that read this blog.
I was constantly reminded by this 25 year old 'man' at how happy I made him. How much he wanted me. How he had never felt this way before. How he LOVED ME. How he can't wait for the future. I believed all of these things, so was on cloud 9.
Lesson 2: The cheesy stuff is cute, but take it all with a pinch of salt.
Within a couple of weeks of being together, he wanted to book a holiday. We had this dream of going to India or Cuba, but me being sensible (and thank goodness), I said maybe that would be a nice holiday for the following year. Well done me for being sensible and not booking anything, because it would've been an utter waste of my money!Lesson 3: Don't book stuff for the future with someone new so quickly.
Our sex life was okay, nothing special and I'm certainly not writing this post to talk about that. However, there is another lesson that I have learnt about my sex life with that partner and about future partners.
What was I told? To expect lots of orgasms, a magical tongue and kinky LoveHoney shit. Well, remember when I thought I had it bad with the last boyfriend? That was a breeze.
I laid there a lot of times over those 7 weeks, waiting for his so-called magical tongue to set my insides on fire; but he just drowned them instead with failure. I always told myself, maybe it will happen the next time. It never did and I know it's nothing to do with my body. It's easy to make a girl scream when you know what you're doing. If you don't, then don't shout about how awesome you are. Simply really.
Lesson 4: If a man boasts at how good he is in bed and how good he will make you feel; it probably IS too good to be true.
How beautiful is this lingerie set from Dorina?
They kindly sent it over to me and I can't get enough! Super comfy and available on ASOS in black and white for only £18!
We had a period where things changed. He stopped talking to me during the day, didn't speak to me in the evenings and didn't arrange to see me. He said he was just working a lot but if you feel there is bad energy, then believe in them vibes, because something's not right.
He worked all that weekend too and didn't see me. Is it a coincidence that the following Friday, he cancelled seeing me? Saturday evening he dumped me. By a text message. Monday morning, he had his ex girlfriend back on all forms of social media and was with her the following weekend of that same week. A coincidence? Doubtful.
Too many lies. Too many coincidences. Too many opportunities missed to say 'fuck this, fuck you, bye'.
Lesson 5: If you sense bad energy, believe in those vibes. You're NOT over thinking shit. Don't let him (or her) tell you you're overthinking either!
How am I now?
I was sad for a few days but I don't feel anything more than regret now. I wasn't particularly looking for anything when I met him. I just ended up meeting him because I had known him for a very long time beforehand (these are the ones I have learned that surprise you the most) and I guess I completely and stupidly 100% trusted him. What a silly girl, I am.
I was upset and sad because I am a human who has feelings. The measure of time has no relation to how a person can feel. It may have only been two months but everything I felt I thought was real, because he made me BELIEVE it was.
Now that I have had a few weeks to reflect on this, I am actually so grateful that this happened. I couldn't think of anything worse than being in a relationship for much longer with a compulsive liar who is trying to bury his true feelings. I am out of it, away from him and couldn't be happier knowing I am the true winner here.
Lesson 6: Pain can be a blessing in disguise.
I am in love with the idea of being in love and know that one day it will hit me like a punch in the face when I least expect it. There won't be any lies, hiccups, excuses or crazy hung-up ex girlfriends involved.
I have learned so many things from this and I'm so thankful for this happening. It's a learning curve and I now know the signs to look out for on my next first date and so on. I will be able to end something quickly without being dragged into someone's messy life and end up getting hurt all over again.
Lesson 7: I am fucking worthy of real love and one day I will find it in a fucking real man.
Sometimes though, you do have to sit back and laugh at the bad experiences in your life. I may be missing out on the fulfilment of someone making me happy, but I no longer have to deal with a man who doesn't brush his teeth. No woman has time for a man's bad hygiene.
Lesson 8: The best looking guys are usually secretly the worst.
That's the 8 things I have learned and I hope this is somewhat helpful to any of you who have just started dating or about to meet someone new. Trust your intuition and don't get caught up in another person's cobweb of lies. Save your heart and body for someone who is worth trusting and believing.
Disclaimer: Lingerie are PR samples. All words are my own.
Baxters have four different ranges of soups, which I was so pleased to find out. There are 22 soups in their Favourites range. These include classics such as: Cream of Tomato, Chicken and Vegetable and Minestrone. Secondly, there's the Vegetarian range and the Hearty range; which are slightly more filling as they contain more wholesome ingredients. Lastly, there is the Chef Selections range; a slightly more distinctive and unique flavour range, but equally as yummy and nourishing.
I was sent over ten tins of soups; 5 from the Vegetarian range and 5 from the Hearty range. The idea of the challenge was to ditch sandwiches and warm up a soup in the microwave for lunch. The challenge lasted two weeks and I had one soup for every working day (Mon-Fri).
Vegetarian Range
Despite being a meat eater, I do actually eat quite a lot of vegetarian food. I love that Baxters have catered for people who don't eat meat. There are 13 different soups in this range:
- Garden Pea & Mint
- Green Lentil & Tomato
- Spicy Tomato and Rice with Sweetcorn
- Minestrone
- Lentil & Vegetable
- Carrot & Coriander
- Spicy Parsnip
- Country Garden
- Mediterranean Tomato
- Carrot & Butterbean
- Italian Tomato & Basil
Carrot & Coriander
I tried out the ones in bold and they were all very delicious. I was surprised to see how full up I was after eating the soup. I didn't have bread to accompany with every soup I had, as the majority of the time I was too full up for any added extras.
Hearty Range
I was very excited to try out some soups from this range. Sometimes it's nice to have a soup which has solid ingredients, which is what these have. The range is very extensive too and includes the following:
- Tuscan Style Bean, Bacon and Pecorino
- Butternut Squash, Sweet Potato, Chilli and Lime
- Chicken, Pepper and Black Eyed Bean
- Chicken and Sweetcorn Chowder
- Beef, Bean and Vegetable
- Tomato, Chorizo and Mixed Bean
- Spiced Red Lentil & Smoked Bacon
- Smoked Bacon and Three Bean
- Country Vegetable
- Chicken and Country Vegetable
Tomato, Chorizo & Mixed Bean
Again, the ones in bold are the ones I tried and are without a doubt my favourite soups out of both ranges. I am a big fan of beans in food, so it is great to see so many soups with beans.
I thoroughly enjoyed each soup and range between 75p and £1.48 at ASDA. They are also available in most supermarket retailers. For a cheap and cheerful lunch or dinner, you really can't go wrong.
Don't forget to take the Souper Swap quiz to find out what your lunch says about you!
Disclaimer: In collaboration with Baxters.
So many taboo subjects are widely talked about nowadays and many people don't shy away from talking about their own personal experiences. However, the one thing I didn't know very much about until now and something I haven't seen many people talk about, is Erectile Dysfunction.
Where does Erectile Dysfunction fit in with my blog? The truth is it technically doesn't. I'm a woman with a vagina, who has a majority of other vaginas (theoretically speaking) who reads this blog. However, sometimes you have to use your audience, your voice, your influence and your power to spread the message and importance of certain problems, that just are not being spoken about.
Question 1.
How many of you lovely ladies have been hot under the covers, seconds from being struck by his beef thermometer; only for it to go from 30 degrees right down to -5 in seconds? Well, in my personal sexual experiences, this has happened so many times. Me being a woman, I question myself and whether it's me. Does he fancy me? Has he gone off my body? Did my lady lumps make him almost repeat his lunch? Did he stop because he's thinking about his ex?
Erectile Dysfunction is more common than you think, yet we don't associate it as a genuine health problem first hand.
What is it?
Erectile Dysfunction or impotence is explained by Online Doctor LloydsPharmacy. They explain it to simply be the inability to achieve and maintain an erection. This can be during masturbating or having sex. With some men, it may happen once or twice in their lives; but for some men, it can be an ongoing problem.
Why does it happen?
Whilst it can be down to the fact there is low sexual attraction on his part, it's probably very unlikely to be anything to do with that. An erection is caused by the rush of the blood to the penis, so impotence is the actual thinning of the blood vessels in his trouser snake.
It's a regular and normal thing to happen, but if the problem is an ongoing thing, then it's advised to see a doctor. Questions will be asked and the guy will be examined, which puts most guys off from booking that doctor's appointment. It's an embarrassing thing to talk about, hence the stigma around the subject. However, it's so important to get checked for later problems that could occur.
Problems such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes are all linked to the failure of being able to maintain an erection. Psychological causes that are linked are anxiety, depression, stress and low sexual desire. There's a lot more to the problem than just not being able to "get it up".
I spoke to my 25 year old friend recently about his personal experiences with erectile dysfunction. He doesn't have a girlfriend but has an active sex life. He recently lost an erection during sex and told me that immediately the girl asked if it was because he didn't find her attractive. He admitted that he doesn't achieve erections in the mornings as much as he did as a teenager and erections depend on his alcohol level and how sexually attracted he is to the girl.
He told me he has used Viagra in the past and it helped him to last longer during sex and stay erect for longer. I asked him if he's ever been to the doctor about losing erections in the past and why he thinks most men shy away from doing so. He told me that it's a touchy subject that is not enjoyable to learn or read about. He added that most men feel embarrassed and ashamed to talk to a doctor; especially if it's a female doctor.
What can solve the problem?
Medication is available to reduce the blood pressure, but a man will need to see a doctor before hand, prior to being prescribed drugs. Other problem solvers include the infamous Viagra drug which are used to help a man "last longer" during sex. Other options include vacuum pumps and sex therapy for couples.
It's a weird subject to write about and a funny one to talk about; but it has made me think twice when it comes to not only having those burning over thinking questions during sex; but to accept that sometimes a man just can't help it.
Disclaimer: In collaboration with Lloyds Pharmacy. All words are my own. Images are royalty free stock images.
MEXIco was previously a Chimichangas, and re-opened as MEXIco at the end of 2016. I have eaten in Chimichangas and I wasn't very keen on the food. For me, Mexican food has to be fresh, authentic and true to that of Mexico. Nobody likes stale tortillas, 3 day old salsa and limp looking fajitas, do they?
Mark the restaurant manager invited myself and a +1 along on a Thursday night with some other journalists. We was all seated together which I have never done on a restaurant review before, but it was nice to mingle with new people and talk about the food and drinks during the evening.
The evening was planned really well and I liked how it was different from how most restaurants host journalists and bloggers. Mark guided us through the menu and told us to brace ourselves, as we would be sampling the menu's favourite dishes.
Firstly, I'll talk about drinks because they literally took over the evening. My plus 1 was driving, so it was down to me to try out the drinks. Mark is incredibly proud of his drink menu and I can completely understand why. The alcohol used in the cocktails is specially imported from Mexico, so you're getting authentic cocktails like you would if you was over there.
The cocktails ranged from fruity to smoky, with a LOT of added tequila... fresh off the boat from Mexico of course. In fact, the majority of the things that MEXIco use are Mexico imports. This even includes their wide range of different hot sauces. If that isn't an authentic touch, I don't know what is.
We kick started the food sampling with a bowl of puffy tortilla chips and all of the trimmings. Mark had been telling us how all of the ingredients that the chefs use are fresh and that we would hopefully be able to tell. Well, as an absolute guacamole enthusiast over here, I had high hopes but of course, would always be honest with my first impressions.
Well, I can confirm that these were the best restaurant based tortilla chips and dips to accompany that I have ever tried. The guacamole was mixd with coriander, tomato, onion, jalapeño and lime juice and really hit the spot. In fact, each dipping pot was truly spectacular and makes you appreciate freshly cooked food ten times more.
It was then back to the drawing board for cocktails and before I knew it, I had a whole bunch of them to try out. There was a tomato based bloody martini, which I knew I wouldn't like as I had tried it at the Royal Albert Hall brunch a few weeks before. I definitely loved the fruiter cocktails, but didn't like a smokey one as it was a bit too masculine for my tastebuds!
Fremlin Walk Shopping Centre
58 Earl St
Maidstone
ME14 1PS
-
01622 620382
The next food choice that was presented to us was the Pork Mexico City Pastor. It's essentially fresh tacos with grilled pork, chillies, spices, a salsa mix, red onion, pineapple and coriander. These were really yummy and again, you could tell the ingredients were freshly made for the dish.
To accompany the above, we also had the Beef Fajita Asadas. These are authentic rolled fajitas, stuffed with grilled beef steak, red onions and avocado; topped with sour cream and tomato salsa. Very nice indeed.
We then enjoyed their signature dish; the puffy tacos. These were really scrumptious and one of my highlights from the night. We was given a selection of different ones; including chicken tinga and prawns, picadillo beef and pulled pork. The tacos were extra puffy, so complemented the fresh toppings perfectly.
Whilst waiting (and starting to feel a tad full up!) for our next lot of food, Mark brought over some traditional and authentic Mexican tequilas. At this point, I had definitely had enough alcohol, so I didn't try them. It took me a good five minutes before I realised there was a dead worm in the first glass. Nothing but an added bit of traditional protein to say the least, but definitely something I wasn't willing to try!
Next up, it was time to try a burrito. Mark wasn't kidding when he said these portions are big and as soon as they arrived, I wasn't sure if I had enough room to try anything else. However, it's Mexican food, so of course I did!
The burritos are packed full of a choice of beef, pork or veggie, rice, montery Jack cheese and baked in the oven with an enchilada sauce, lettuce and tomatoes as a side garnish; drizzled in sour cream to finish.
Then there was the El Mariachi Mexico Dinner; which was without a doubt my favourite dish I tried that night. A big plate of cheese enchiladas, a puffy taco with chicken, lots of Monterey Jack cheese, guacamole, sour cream and Mexican rice and lots more. Definitely one you would need to burn off at the gym the next day!
The other food reviewers requested to try out one of the Mexican cooked fish dishes. This was a Snapper fillet, served in a white wine sauce, avocado and Mexican rice. I only stick to fish dishes that I know of (quite bad, I know), so my plus one tried this out and thoroughly enjoyed it. It definitely has that strong fishy taste to it, but can be tamed down with the sauce and side avocado and leaves.
After feeling very defeated, Mark insisted we all tried some of MEXIco's favourite desserts. It's no secret that I do tend to opt for a dessert when dining out, so it was too difficult to politely turn down.
The Mexican Caramel Brûlée came whizzing out shortly after by Mark and I at first, I wasn't sure whether I would like it. I'm not a fan of the traditional brûlée, but I made the quick decision to try half a spoonful anyway. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the caramel made it rather delicious and went brûlée-lently with the strawberry fondant and fresh strawberries on top.
The other option was freshly fried churros, with cinnamon sugar and dulce le leche; a sweetened condensed milk and caramel dipping sauce. Out of the two, I definitely preferred the brûlée, whereas my plus one preferred the churros.
We had a lovely time and I cannot recommend MEXIco enough. Even though it's a little far our for Londoners, if you have access to a car then I guarantee you won't be let down with the quality of the food. My highlights include the fantastic talk throughs from Mark during each meal. It was really nice to be able to learn more about traditional Mexican food by someone who is easily recognisably passionate about his restaurant.
They have a lunch menu available until 5pm, which gives you two courses for £9.99. An absolute steal in my opinion and one that I hope to re-visit to take full advantage of. With a 2-4-1 cocktail menu too (available 5-7pm), it would be silly to miss out!
Thank you so much to Mark for hosting such a lovely evening. I have no doubt that I will be back soon to try out the banana burrito dessert that he talked so highly about!
Disclaimer: I was invited along with a plus 1 for a complimentary meal in return for an honest review on my blog. All thoughts and photographs are my own.
I thought I would share my super sassy new glasses with you all. It's no secret around here that I have been wearing glasses since I was 5 years old. Over the years, my eyes have gradually deteoriated and my prescription gets stronger every time I have a new eye test.
I am currently -7.50 in the right eye and -8.50 in the left, so it's to no surprise that most online optical websites don't cater for a strong prescription like mine. However, Perfect Glasses do, so I was super excited at being able to browse around for a new pair of glasses from the comfort of my own bed.
They have women's glasses starting from £9, which is an absolute bargain. It's to no surprise that I have been found paying up to £300 for designer frames, so I can try to look a bit cooler than I actually am. However, there's no need for designer frames, because Perfect Glasses have all the frame styles you could ever wish for.
The frame I have is called Etsy 0111, which is currently out of stock. However, they have so many other frames of different shapes, sizes and prints. There's even designer frames if you want a frame that's a bit more special!
They cost £55, which included the frame, prescription, thinning of the lenses and delivery. The delivery took around 10 working days, because my prescription is so high. However, I find when I get glasses from an opticians, it takes around the same amount of time for my glasses to be ready to collect.
I 100% recommend Perfect Glasses as a website to shop for your spectacles. I find it much easier choosing online glasses in my own time, rather than being rushed by optical assistants in optician stores.
Disclaimer: I was offered store credit in return for an honest review on my blog.
I was so excited to receive my first ever fibre mascara and to give it a try. Despite loving beauty and having tried many different mascaras over years, I had never given in to trying a fibre mascara.
A fibre mascara is pretty much what it says on the tin. Tiny fibres are added to the mascara formulation, which stick themselves onto the hairs of your natural lashes. These add volume, depth and texture to your lashes; giving you that fake lash look without the need for fake lashes and glue.
The formulation for starters is quite try compared to what a normal mascara would have. The brush is also incredibly big compared to most wands. With these negative first impressions, I found it quite difficult to like it upon my first application. However, I did note that it may be the perfect mascara of the gym and those "no makeup days".
Due to the brush being a lot larger than normal, I find that the formulation transfers onto my lid just above the lash line. A perfect example is above as you can see where it transferred slightly on one eye and can really see the size of the brush in comparison to the size of my eyes.
However, I tried what I intended to try it for and have been wearing it to the gym. I am not someone who plasters on a full face of makeup, just to go and sweat it off. However, I do like to make sure my eyebrows are brushed and filled in and I like to apply a little concealer under my eyes and mascara to finish. Everyone has their personal preference and that is mine.
I have found it works much more nicely as a mascara for the gym and no makeup days or days where you don't fancy applying too much eye makeup. The fibres do 'attach' themselves onto my own lashes and I quite like the effect that it creates. My eyes look a lot more awake and fresh.
However, I found this mascara is the worst for applying to the bottom lashes. I don't ever apply mascara to my bottom lashes when going to the gym, but other times I have tried it, it transfers to my under eye area. Therefore, I don't use it for my bottom lashes anymore.
This mascara retails for £19.99 at Boots, but in all honesty, I wouldn't purchase it again (*pr sample). The fibre effect is nice, but many drug street beauty retailers now have their own versions which are much cheaper, so I would be intrigued to try those in the future.
I am interested in the brand though as they also do a fab range of different eyelashes. If you follow me on Instagram (instagram.com/ashllyd), you may have seen my selfie a couple of weeks ago...
A post shared by Ashleigh Dougherty💖 (@ashllyd) on
I wore the lash style 007 and they lasted all night without having to apply any more glue. Always a plus in my eyes as a near enough everyday lash wearer!
I'm definitely keen on trying more of Eye Candy's lash styles! They are available at Tesco for £4.99.
Disclaimer: PR samples. All views and photographs are my own.
The Otherist is consequently only open on Monday to Friday, from 7.30am till late. It's the perfect place to pop in for coffee before work, a light lunch away from the office or dinner and drinks with a Tinder date after work.
I was recently invited along to try out the all-day menu and in all honesty, I couldn't wait. It's tucked away a 5 minute walk from London Liverpool Street station and our table was booked for the afternoon, so lunch was very much needed.
The Otherist are very popular for their choice of drinks. Whether you fancy something more sophisticated like wine, or masculine like whiskey; they're guaranteed to have something for you. Both my Mum and I ordered Pornstar Martini cocktails, which were as delicious as anything.
The Otherist
111 Old Broad St
London, EC2N 1AP
-
0207-638-9308
Whilst perusing over the menu, we enjoyed some sourdough bread with warm butter (£4.95). Is there anything better? Wait, that question doesn't need an answer.
There are a few different starters to choose from and it was a complete no brainer for me. I ordered the Scotch Egg (£5.95). It arrived warm and freshly cooked with the yolk oozing out upon cutting it in half. Presented with a chorizo and smoked paprika mayonnaise drizzled around; I'm a real scotch egg enthusiast and I can confirm, it was bloody delicious.
Mum went for the complete opposite and ordered the Chicken Satay (£6.25). Imagine chicken bubbling away in a peanut and sesame sauce. A red pot of goodness is how she describes it.
Our starters went down well and between finishing them and beginning our mains, it gave us plenty of time to chat to the waiter about The Otherist and also snap some photos.
The service we received from The Otherist was spectacular and without having you wonder whether this review carries on a positive one, it well and truly does.
It's always so nice when a restaurant's staff make you feel so welcome. From the second we walked in and was greeted by a host who was well aware of my expected arrival, to the round booth table we was given and the checking everything was okay for the duration of our stay. For that simple and effective customer service, they win lots.
For main, I was a bit of a basic girl and ordered the 8oz cheeseburger (£8.95) with chips (£3.25), but it was honestly very nice and went down well, even though I would admit it's maybe slightly over priced and would be a bit better if it came with chips. However, nothing beats dipping chips in mayonnaise in my opinion, so it was well worth it!
The other main ordered was the Grilled Salmon (£12.95), which came with a pecan crunch, lemon, potatoes and some other vegetables; including a bowl of buttered spinach (£4.50). My mum has reported back that it was one of the nicest salmon dishes she has had before. Considering the waiter told us that the chef is renowned for his fish dishes, his words really did live up to our expectations!
Our meals were very nice and enjoyed very much. We definitely felt very full up, but was then persuaded by the waiter to try out the dessert menu. I feel like it's possibly a waste of time to travel all that way and not try out the desserts...
You feel me?
I was simple basic girl again and ordered the Raspberry Sorbet (£4.50), as I tend to order sorbet when I honestly feel very full up but don't want to miss out on the sweet dishes. I also love ordering sorbet over ice-cream, because it feels like I am taking in less calories. Probably not true, but either way this sorbet was delicious, fruity and just 'berry' nice.
Mum went for the Pecan Tart (£5.95), which came with ice-cream. Of course it was nice and hit the spot for her very well. She enjoyed it from the first spoonful to the very last. I heard she's nuts for anything pecan!
I only have good things to say about The Otherist and definitely recommend you visit if you can. It's a bit of a negative that they are only open during the week. However, I like the idea of a restaurant and bar that is specifically designed for busy city workers. After all, is anywhere else like that? Nope and that's why they are doing things so very well. It's a thumbs up from me!
Disclaimer: All opinions and photographs are my own. I was invited along for a complimentary meal for 2, in return for an honest review on Being Ashleigh.
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