02/02/2017

I'M SINGLE AGAIN AND THIS IS WHY


I can't help but laugh sometimes at my choice in men. So, here's another breakup post added to my collection from over the years. A week ago, I received this message that I wasn't quite prepared for.

There's a lot to take in with this message, so I thought I would digest it up a little bit. Was he really making me happy? Did I like the idea of him, rather than him? Well.

These are the things that make me happy in a relationship.

- Not being lied to. 
Oh wait. He lied to me 2 weeks into the relationship. The first time he met my family on Christmas Eve, he sat there and lied to them all about something too. Lie to me and I will try to deal with that eventually, but lie to my family and you're automatically on my hit list. Get in the bin and stay there till you rot.

- Feeling like a priority.
Oh wait. I was at the bottom of his list. Beer, wrestling, ex fuck buddy friends (more on that further down) and his YouTube channel which achieved a whopping 9 views per video, all came before me. Each to their own though.

- Feeling adored and wanted. 
Oh wait. The sex was boring and I think he made me cum twice in the whole relationship. However, it's important to remember that he reckons he was much more experienced than myself. I still laugh at that one. I think someone was telling another porky pie. Oink, oink.  He might have been four years older than me, but his penis was unsatisfying and made me look forward to my period, just so I could avoid another not-so-seamy-sex-sesh on a Tuesday. Just fuck me and leave me wanting more. I don't want to feel like I'm married to an old geezer with a dying daffodil in his Marvel pants.

- Feeling like I actually have a boyfriend.
Oh wait. I let the ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT at Christmas slide but not even so much as a birthday card from my ever so loving boyfriend? Could happily sit there and eat a slap up meal that my dad paid for though. How embarrassing.

- Feeling excited about dates.
Oh wait. He was always too busy for dates. His YouTube channel was really important and obviously needed updating for his loyal seven subscribers; one of which was probably his mum. It goes without saying that one was obviously myself. I've well and truly hit that unsubscribe button now though. C'ya.

- Feeling a sense of security.
Oh wait. He's almost 28 years old but is still getting his mum to change his bed sheets and wash his work trousers for him. I still can't wrap my head around this. I think I was about 11 when my mum stopped changing my bed sheets. Are you ok with your mum touching cum covered bed sheets though???

I should probably add that they were wrestling bed sheets. Moving on from the subject of fucking bed sheets...

- Feeling like I can trust someone completely.
Oh wait. My old best friend was his fuck buddy. In fact, they fucked the day before our first date. I sat on his bed after our date (no funny business, thank god), not knowing I was sitting on top of a mix of female and male juices. Forgot to tell me that one before going Facebook official, didn't he!


So, darling ex boyfriend, you stand correct. I was far from happy, simply because you was one of the most boring men I have ever dated. I liked the idea of being with someone creative, but fuck was I bored out of my mind. I got more pleasure fantasising about Tom Hardy and half of the fitties on my Facebook friends list. 

For now, it's back to the shelf for me. I'm staying single until I find someone who actually has time for me, with no bullshit excuses all the time. Someone who is excited about things like reviewing restaurants and going places with me. A guy who feels they would lose the world if they lost me. Fabulous sex that doesn't get dreaded on my part after sesh two. Oh, and preferably someone who hasn't fucked my friends and has a bit more success in life than just seven YouTube subscribers. Is that really too much to ask for?
SHARE:

82 comments

  1. GUUUUURL πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ Remind me never to cross you ever! You absolutely ROASTED this guy! Sounds like he was a bit of a loser to be honest, you deserve way way better! I'm sure that there's a fantastic guy who will appreciate and be truthful to you out there waiting to worship you! Don't settle for anyone!

    Abbey πŸ’“ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I look forward to meeting someone who's not a loser!

      Delete
  2. Good on yee for getting that out there. Sounds like a waste of space. You look after yourself xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2/2/17

    Fair on all the comments on him not taking the time to appreciate you and love you like he said he did...

    but just like you and your blog, Men also have dreams of doing things! If that be a YouTube channel (9 views.. But we gotta start somewhere..) Or learning to wrestle (it is a sport!)

    I'm not a fan of you calling his penis small either. I understand your hurt, and everyone wants a good night in bed, but if you REALLY loves eachother (which you must of if you were together) sometimes Great Sex isnt eveything.. And man can't help if he's got a small dick, pornography isnt reality, most men arnt like most woman are in those movies.

    I'm happy your moving on to better, but some things just seem a little out of place. Take care and all the best :)

    L

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We was together for six weeks. I have stated in the post that it wasn't love. Not on my part anyway and definitely not on his part with the way he treated me. I'm sorry you're offended I called his worm small, but I'm incredibly honest.

      Delete
  4. Sounds like you're well rid! Men, hey?! You deserve someone who will make you a priority ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think it's too much to ask for!

      Delete
  5. GIRL πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ Roast that boy. Good riddance, I was about to say sorry this happened but actually you can be glad to have broken up with him with all you've pointed out now. You deserve someone who's the opposite of him and treats you like a queen!

    Arden | Missing Wanderer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad I'm well shot of him. I've never felt so bored in a relationship before. It was going nowhere!

      Delete
  6. Anonymous2/2/17

    Grow up. Try keep a man for longer than 5 minutes. You mention in all relationship posts that you're going to stay single, a week later there's a new guy on the go. I don't think they're the problem, it's probably you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is me. I'm aware when I deserve better, so I walk away :-)

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/2/17

      You were dumped.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous3/2/17

      Also you deserve what you dish out. You talk about people like shit, because you are a piece of shit. Fucking grow up and learn that a man isn't there to wait on your every whim. Get your head sorted because you're psychotic. You're always in a new relationship or seeing someone because you can't bare to be single, even though you claim you're staying single. The way he dumped you is all you deserve.

      Delete
    4. I wasn't dumped. I dumped him because I was bored of the relationship. It's funny how you think you know more about the relationship than myself... the person who was in it! I've had 4 relationships in my life, so far exactly always in one... but good on you for thinking you know more about my life than I do. Take care babes.

      Delete
  7. Anonymous2/2/17

    This post is really petty and vindictive. You went out for six weeks, have some dignity. Don't you think this is going to look pretty frightening to any guy you date in the future (not to mention unprofessional for brands...)?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't read it then. I should've probably mentioned that I knew him for a few years, so the way he went about things was very disheartening. I didn't start a blog to work with brands in the first place... so, no I don't think it's unprofessional, as it's my blog, about my life. I couldn't care less if it frightens off guys. If anything, that works in my favour. As any real and genuine man who reads this will want to change my opinion about men in general. The ones who run away are the ones just like this little darling... so it saves me a job and a half!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/2/17

      What a sad little girl. this blog has been passed to the police due to such vile comments. #haveanicelife

      Delete
    3. Anonymous3/2/17

      what a said little anonymous coward. #bitchesareeverywhere

      Delete
    4. Haha! I look forward to the knock on the door from the police tomorrow. Can't wait to hear about the case you have. I wonder if they prefer tea or coffee? I must find out!

      Delete
  8. Anonymous2/2/17

    Wow, what a lovely person you are. Are you surprised you was apparently treated like this?�� So your going on how he made 'no effort at all' , but you've forgotten to mention the reasons behind this... the fact he was moving house so he would of had no money.. but of course you didn't mention this because it would of dictated what you said about his mum, which you have no right at all to even mention his mum. Also, if I had been in a relationship with someone for 6 weeks I wouldn't even expect a birthday or Christmas present! High maintenance springs to mind.�� Also, what right do you have or even makes you think you have the right to try and belittle someone on the Internet? And why would you think it's okay to talk about him and who he was sleeping with? Was you in an official relationship when it happened? I know for definite you wasn't.. therefor it's none of your business who he sleeps with darling. I can almost guarantee he would of had a better time that what he had with you considering how you've explained you just laid there.. very experimental, very fun����. Overall, I think your a very bitter person who's holding a massive grudge.. if you knew him that well, you'd know he's a socialite, he loves wrestling and loves his YouTube.. now you wanna sit here and try mug him off about it. Grow up Ashleigh, you melt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You do realise you've just made it plain obvious who you are? Should've left a name darling! Why hide behind anonymous? At least don't make it obvious who you are lol ..

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/2/17

      That's awkward because you've never met me.. lol. My names Reanne, hi. I don't appreciate you slagging off two of my best friends with lies lmao.

      Delete
    3. Sorry, was you in the relationship Reanne? No. I haven't slagged off anyone either. I've just stated facts that everyone knew of anyway.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous3/2/17

      I was not in the relationship no, haven't slagged anyone off? What is this blog then? Constructive criticism, I think not. I guess you don't actually know the person you were dating then if you genuinely think all of this is true..

      Delete
    5. The truth is there in black and white. The screenshot of the message he sent. You don't say that to someone you apparently love and certainly don't "lol" it either. It was me going round to talk to him. It was him ignoring my texts and calls. All i wanted to do was talk to him. He mugged me off big time.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous3/2/17

      Looks like Ashleigh likes making a habit of bringing people's mums into her dramas with exes... didn't you say that you hoped your last ex's family died in a fire?

      Delete
    7. Looks like you enjoy hiding behind the anonymous button. Leave a name next time honey?

      Delete
    8. God there are some major trolls on here!!! Firstly a size does matter but it also matters if they know how to work with what they have.

      Secondly Ashleigh didn't expect anything for her Birthday, but a card would have been appropriate atleast or flowers if you're dating and you want to make a go of things you make the effort!

      Well done Ashleigh for speaking out. I have written similar posts not so well written but then I am getting better I think.... being treated the way you were is not acceptable and you were right to walk away! Xxxx

      Delete
  9. Anonymous3/2/17

    Ashleigh, i'm loving this post! You are the Taylor Swift of bloggers! If you minus out the talent, class or subtlety and add in huge amounts of hate, self-loathing and insecurity and mask it all up as feminism. This isn't being a modern, free-spirit anymore. This is being a materialistic, superficial cow with a laptop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This blog is my full time job, so clearly it is a talent. I don't hate myself at all. I say things exactly how they are and talk about stuff people normally steer clear from. And if I have something to say, then I'll say it with honesty. That includes not hiding behind an anonymous button. Oh wait....

      Delete
  10. Anonymous3/2/17

    Get some braces for yo fucked up teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't hide my anonymous. If you feel the need to pick on my teeth, then at least leave a name lovely. Thanks for increasing my blog views though. It increases my income, so much appreciated!

      Delete
  11. Anonymous3/2/17

    I love www.beingasleig.com! Sorry my 'h's' don't work. Oh look, they do now. How unfortunate for Asleig who writes this blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I could say this was a clever insult, but it's one of the lamest haha! Thanks for increasing my blog views though. It increases my income, so much appreciated!

      Delete
  12. Amazing post Ashleigh - you are worth so much more than him x

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is gold!! How you have worded this is hilarious!

    You'll find a good guy soon... Someone that is good in bed and actual wants to spend time with you and to see your smile :)

    Should meet up soon anyway! Been too long!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kris! Yes we definitely need to catch up. Let's organise something soon!

      Delete
  14. As much as I'm all about keeping a private life away from a blog I'm still like GOOOOO GIIIRRRRLLLL!!

    Let's all just face facts, sometimes guys are pricks *shrug*

    Some guys are just not relationship worthy and think they're the best thing since sliced bread anyway which can clearly be seen by him adding a little 'lol' at the end of his text - OMG what a twat.

    People leaving crappy comments need to shove off. You opened your grievances to a public forum because this guy properly screwed you over but PEOPLE butt out you weren't even in the relationship.

    Mel ★ http://www.meleaglestone.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do keep some things back, but it goes without saying that when someone treats me like an idiot and doesn't care about how they're making me feel, then I'll take matters into my own hands :-) If he didn't act the way he did and was nicer about the way things ended, then I would've had no reason to write about this.

      Delete
  15. Girl....... why is everyone so pissed about what YOU wrote in YOUR blog? Who The Fuck are they to say what is TMI or makes them uncomfortable HERE, in your space. Why do they even come back and keep reading posts if they're hating?

    I loved the post. You do you. You write about whatever the hell you want because why not? You don't need to censor yourself, everyone just needs to lighten up because they can choose to go to one of the million other blogs out there. Way bigger problems than being offended at reading about a man's tiny peep

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, I know! People seem to forget that this is MY corner of the internet, which I own and have done for 6 years. Do they expect me to take the post down? Not write about certain things because they're a bit of a taboo subject? Am I supposed to cry myself to sleep tonight? It's actually hilarious! I shall carry on doing my thing :) Thanks for the comment Bec!

      Delete
  16. Wow, you are on fire! I would love to be as confident as you in your position, honestly go you! Loved reading this post and all of your honesty, we need more of this in the world.

    Thank you for writing it!

    saffronwatson.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Saffron. I love a bit of honesty!

      Delete
  17. This is exactly how I felt when I ended mine after 6 years. Just didn't enjoy it anymore. Sometimes you don't realise how unhappy you were until it's all over. I love this post!! Xx

    Tamz | http://www.throughneweyesx.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, I'm glad you saw the light too! I am MUCH happier now I'm out of it!

      Delete
  18. Oh god this guy must feel gutted to have lost you! You deserve much better girl!πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ Loved this post!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He will look back one day and regret treating me like an idiot. I guarantee it!

      Delete
  19. He sounds like an absolute idiot and you can do so much better! Loved this post had me crying the whole way through xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah glad to hear Tanya. Thank you for the feedback! x

      Delete
  20. Anonymous4/2/17

    Pretty girl like you shouldn't worry too much about this arsehole. Never understood why any bloke thinks they can get away with treating their girl this way, if I did this I would expect to be single!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, thank you! So many guys do it though, it's not just him. They need to stop!

      Delete
  21. HAHA! You have so much balls posting this! Girl power ✌🏻️ Ignore those haters, that's one thing that I really wonder about... why are they reading this if they hate you so much? These people have TOO much time on their hands!! πŸ˜‚ Don't like it, don't read it! Good for you x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, more balls than him ayyyyy! I have loved the negative comments. Honestly, they have made my week!

      Delete
  22. You go girl! As you and others have said above, this is your space to say what you want and I praise you for that. Such a ballsy post to write and you nailed it!

    Kayla | www.daintydweeb.com
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry Kayla, I'll keep on doing my thing. If people don't like it, then there's a little X button they can click :)

      Delete
  23. Love this Ashleigh so honest and witty! Those anonymous messages are making me howl. Good riddens is all I can say!

    Lucy | www.lucyalana.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lucy! Glad to hear it's made you laugh :)

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  24. Yes Ashleigh!! Loved this post. He sounds like a nob! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous5/2/17

    Glad to see you're moving on and are well rid of this guy. The way you decribe what you want from a man is pretty much what all of us want in a relationship. As a UK man who always puts his woman first, has his own successful business and wouldn't dream of ever cheating on a girlfriend, I am forever asking myself why my girlfriends always ultimately cheat on me when I treat them as well as I do. Sure their apologetic when I find out and assure me it will never happen again but I never give them a second chance to find out (Once a cheater, always a cheater). I see buddies of mine who cheat on their ladies, get found out and are then forgiven after receiving an ear-bashing. I almost get the feeling girls like to be treated like shit as treating them well never seems to work for me. Treat them mean to keep them keen???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you sound a delight! I wouldn't expect to be put first, but when there's unimportant things before me, it does make me question why I bother putting people first! I don't like to be treated like shit, but I of course, cannot speak for all girls!

      Delete
  26. I LOVE your take on this. You're right, it;s totally your time to own life. You're awesome and I can't wait to see what's next!!

    xx, Pia
    http://gymbagsandjetlags.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. Love this post and your total honesty! I do hope you find someone worthwhile soon though! In the meantime focus on loving you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, that's what I am going to do. How are you supposed to love someone else if there's so much loving to do to yourself?!

      Delete
  28. Wow, he sounds incredibly self absorbed and out for himself. Glad you got out of that one girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was definitely self absorbed. I am so lucky to be well shot of it now!

      Delete
  29. I am sorry you have gone through terrible time. I hope you are doing okay now.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Looks like you are far better off without him. I think you should have ditched him sooner x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I should've probably never of went there!

      Delete
  31. Oh Lord I had a few boyfriends like this and fuck they were boring too. Your ex sounds like quite a few of my exes who not only put me at the bottom of their priority list but they also took advantage and cheated on me with five different girls- get this though- one of them was a good friend at the time who then turned out to be a lesbian. Haha that taught him,
    Thanks for making me laugh and so sassy too. YAASSS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sorry to hear guys have you treated you like that Ana. I hope the post has cheered you up <3

      Delete
  32. This post made laugh and sad at the same time. Do not settle, it is NOT worth it. His loss and your gain. Lastly, sex should be fun, passionate and beyond enjoyable so the fact that it wasn't was the biggest warning sign ever so don't ignore it in the future. :)

    S .x ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. What a horrible text, you deserve better and what you wrote is defiantly not too much to ask for.
    Hope you feel ok now

    ReplyDelete
  34. You are so much better off without him! Enjoy your singleness without having to answer to anyone :) Kaz x

    ReplyDelete
  35. hahaha this made me laugh so much! Brutal but he deserves it after lying & being a generally SHIT boyfriend!!!! Go girl! xx

    ReplyDelete
  36. GIRLLLL YASSSS!!! What a loser, you're well rid and you deserve a better guy.

    Also, welcome to the singledom. It's amazing.

    :)

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  37. YES! This post is HILARIOUSLY written and you absolutely destroyed him! Amazing, I'd have hated to have been him reading this hahaha! Ellis x // www.elliswoolley.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment! If you have any questions, leave them in the comments and I'll answer them!

Blogger Template Created by pipdig