SLIDER

5 YEARS BLOGGING & NEW CHANGES IN MY LIFE

11th July every year marks my blog’s birthday. The date that I was sitting at home and decided to sign up to Blogger.com and start writing about my life on the internet. Did I think my life was that interesting enough for the world to read about? Who knows. 

However, here I am again, 5 years later writing this post to say happy birthday to myself. So, congratulations Ashleigh for writing a blog consistently most days for FIVE whole years. 

THANKS!

I've been away for the past two weeks with no access to wifi, so I wasn't able to get this up any sooner. But here it is and I'm so excited to hit publish. So excited to document another milestone in my life.

The highlights of my blogging journey or ~career~ if you like are the opportunities I have been given along the way. It has grown and grown and sometimes I have to pinch myself that this is what I do every single day. 

Originally, my blog started off as a beauty blog. A blog I would write in-between going to college and working shifts at my local cinema. It was just a hobby but has grown into something a lot more. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life when I finished school and even by the second year of college; I was still clueless. 

However, picture this. I finished university with no job. All I had was this blog and I threw everything into it. I decided to get a fresh lick of paint, switch up my content and produce better photography. I'm still deciding what features will stay and what ones I will eventually phase out but that's a part of the journey. I am constantly changing.

I've recently collaborated with one of my favourite all time boho-inspired fashion brands. I have followed Wonderland Clothing since the very beginning so it was so exciting to work with them. This gorgeous Bohemian Spirit Romper* is made from a soft cheesecake material. The elasticated waist makes it very comfortable and together with the sandals from Primark; is perfect for an evening of demolishing burgers and fries for example. The bell sleeves have indian inspired embroidery and pom poms which adds to the hippy-boho personality.

They have a huge sale on at the moment so it's worth checking out if you have a style like mine!

Let's catch up and have a little bit of a heart to heart...

Life has been SO hectic over the last month or so. I feel like I've been stuck inside a nightmare if I'm honest. I'm tired of having to make others happy but I don't get to feel any inner happiness. I'm tired of having to put up with things that most people would walk away from straight away.

When I got back from travelling, something hit me. Self happiness is SO important. Self love is important. Being happy with who you are and confident with what you have to offer is important. 

I started by quitting my part time retail job. I believe in myself and picking clothes up off the floor is not something I think I am made for. A friend sat me down and said "Just get rid of it Ashleigh!". So, I quit. Just like that. I got rid of it. I have no regrets.

I then ended a relationship because it was bringing me down and I couldn't go on any longer. I've never really considered myself to have any inner problems but my head has been one big mess for such a long time. I often felt like I was going crazy, like I was imagining things. I was crying every day. I was shouting every day. I started lashing out. I started arguing with my family too. I wanted to escape every day. I didn't want my life anymore.

I'm insecure for a good few reasons and I was made to feel like it wasn't normal to feel how I did. I was made to feel like I had something wrong with me and even the "you're crazy, not right in the head" comments were thrown at me. Alongside the unforgiveable "no one will ever make you happy" insultMental health should never be used in vain but here I was already thinking I was going crazy but was also being told I am crazy and mental. Therefore, I am crazy, right? I must have something wrong with me?

No. I fucking do not.

I'm a normal 23 year old, newly-single woman who has a fucking massive heart but a only loves a very small crowd. People take this for granted and I'm sick and tired of giving my all to boyfriends and friends when I get nothing back in return.

Yeah, I can be your average pain in the ass. I like to do things at the weekends. I'll be mad if you eat all the red sweets. I get the last word in arguments and I'll probably be the only one swearing. But if you get my love; you get everything. My love, my commitment, my passion, my body, my life. 

But that's never enough. So I started asking myself the same old questions...

Why haven't I met anyone who thinks I am cool? Why does no one ever want to adventure the world with me? Why have I never gone out for a spontaneous breakfast in London? Why have I never met a guy who wants to create content with me? Why does no one ever make me a priority? Why does no one ever stick up for me? Why does no one truly love me for who I really am? 

Because I still haven't met the right person. 

I'll end this post by saying thank you very fucking much for following my life for the past five years. Do I see myself blogging for another five? Yes, I fucking do. As long as the internet still exists of course. 

Oh, and apologies for the swearing. But fuck yeah, I'm happy.

62 comments

  1. This was such a well worth read! Girl, you're preaching to the choir! You need to take care of yourself and your happiness first! And trust me, I'm sure it's been said a million times, but once you find a supportive man who understands your creativity and accepts your craziness the world will be a crazy great place!

    You're young, you're beautiful, you'll get there <3

    XO Sahra
    Que Sera Sahra

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    1. Thanks so much Sahra. I think it is down to me being a creative person so I have never found someone who truly understands what I am all about. However, I am happy to wait! Thank you for your kind words.

      Ashleigh x

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  2. Lovely honest post Ashleigh. Congrats on 5 years, that's incredible and I loved hearing about your story!

    Hannah | Oh January

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    1. Thanks so much Hannah. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Ashleigh x

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  3. This is an Excellent and honest post! That's a lot of courage I must say! Good decision that u have left your retail job and made blogging as your career ! After all we should do whatever makes us happy...... Btw congrats on your 5 years of blogging! Yell my one is year and a 4 months...
    I would love if you check out my blog!
    http://www.afashionholicslife.blogspot.com

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    1. I agree Qazi! What's the point in staying unhappy when you can make a slight life change and feel happiness every day?! Your blog is lovely so thank you for sharing it with me :)

      Ashleigh x

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  4. Aw, I really loved reading this! Good for you for removing negative things and people out of your life, I think we should all take a bit of inspiration in doing that :)

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    1. Thanks so much Holly. I feel much better now I have done it. Big fan of your blog so thanks very much for commenting!

      Ashleigh x

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  5. I loved reading this. My blog is 5 too but I didn't celebrate it as I wasn't happy with my blog achievements or where I was in life really. But you're right! Self love is important and I'm glad you've realised this.

    www.lookwhatigot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks Jess! Happy 5 years to you too. Your blog is amazing, you should be proud of it :)

      Ashleigh x

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  6. 5 years is an amazing achievement, so really well done you and self love is definitely important x

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  7. Congrats on the 5 years. Every year is an achievement, I'm still amazed I'm going on 8 years this October. Crazy! Love the honesty of the post, you've got to let go of what's not making you happy or positive and never regret it x

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    1. Thanks very much! 8 years is amazing! I hope I last that long haha. I agree and I feel much better now I've made those changes :)

      Ashleigh x

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  8. Well done for cutting out negativity! Happy blog birthday too!

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    1. Thanks very much Dannii! Means a lot.

      Ashleigh x

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  9. Well done on your five year anniversary! It's amazing how much things can change in that amount of time x

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    1. Thank you Rhian! It really is! I hope I stay this happy now for a long time : )

      Ashleigh x

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  10. Aw yay for five years! I've actually just checked now and today is exactly five years since my first post, too (it was awful...) ♥
    I loved reading this, it sounds like you're in a really good place at the moment, and that romper looks amazing on you!

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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    1. Thanks Jess! Aww, happy 5 years to you too. My first post was super cringe, don't worry. It happens to us all haha! Thanks so much x

      Ashleigh

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  11. Congratulations on five years of blogging. What a milestone! It's awesome that you've been making some big changes.

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  12. Lovely post - I have been blogging on and off since 2008 but my main blog has been going for 3.5 years - I am exactly the same and can't ever imagine a life without blogging - here's to the next 5 years xx

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    1. Hi Samantha,

      That's so cool! It's mad how long we have both been doing it! X

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  13. Huge congratulations hun :D Such a wonderful achievement!
    THat Romper is gorgeous! I love Wonderland Clothing and can't wait to get some pieces for my Asia trip :D

    Tamsyn Elizabeth | Peaches and Bear

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    1. Thank you Tamsyn! Oh, I love them too. Their clothing matches my style perfectly!

      X

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  14. fuck yeah! And here's to another mindful 5 years where you continue to realise what you want and what makes you happy!

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  15. Good for you! And congrats on 5 years. Do what makes you happy and here's to every success in the future!

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    1. Thank you so much Hannah. That's very sweet x

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  16. Good to know you are happy. Happiness is all that really matters. Keep on doing you xo

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  17. Good on you for ditching the stuff that made you feel bad. It's not easy, but essential sometimes!

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    1. Thank you. It was definitely essential this time or I'd lose my mind.

      Ashleigh x

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  18. This is a brilliant post - congrats on 5 years of blogging that is amazing xx

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  19. Congrats on 5 years blogging! My 5th bloggy birthday is in a few weeks! Sorry to hear about your relationship ending but it sounds like it was ultimately a positive step x

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    1. Yay! Happy 5th birthday for a few weeks' time! Yes, it was and I'll find happiness in someone again one day. x

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  20. congratulations on the 5 years of blogging, thats a brilliant achievement :)

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  21. Happy blogaversary to you, and well done you for taking control and getting rid of negative influences in your life. Onwards and upwards! :)

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    1. Thank you so much Elizabeth. Good riddance to bad vibes as they say!! xx

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  22. Yaaassss fucking preach it gurrl! Sorry to hear you haven't found the one but that is ok because neither have I and I couldn't care less. I just want to enjoy life! Amazing having blogged for five years though, that is something I hope to emulate myself x

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    1. Haha, I love your outlook on this Ana. I am going to enjoy my life and not worry about love! x

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  23. Stunning pictures, and congrats on blogging for five years that's amazing! I've been blogging for four so still have that milestone to reach! Great post though - your lovely personality and honesty really shines through x

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    1. Thank you Amy. Oh that's amazing! You must have started just after me :) Really glad you liked the post. It's had such good feedback x

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  24. Congratulations for blogging for 5 years! Hope you meet someone who deserves you very soon

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  25. love the post and the romper the blue really suits you. Well done on having blogged for 5 years!!!

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  26. Congratulations on sticking with it for so long and making the most out of it. I have only been blogging for 3 years and sometimes feels like forever but I love it and wouldn't change it for the world

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    1. That's amazing Anosa! :) 5 years will be your next big milestone! ;)

      Ashleigh x

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  27. Love this! So glad you are happy! Sophie x

    sophiehmstewart.com

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  28. Congratulations on five years of bloogging, it's such an amazing achievement! I often ask myself why I haven't found someone who thinks I'm cool yet, I too feel like I have so much to give, but you just need to remember that the wait will be more than worth it in the end :) x

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    1. I completely agree Louise! I'm just enjoying my life now :) Stress free!

      Ashleigh x

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  29. Congratulations on all those changes, I'm sure it wasn't easy! I actually ended a three year relationship last year because I felt the same way, and I haven't looked back since X

    www.sheintheknow.co.uk

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    1. So lovely to read that people can relate to this. Thank you so much x

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  30. I love posts like this, so honest and down to earth! Congrats on 5 years! It's amazing how much life can change!

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  31. Congratulations on five years of blogging! Wow! That's such an achievement! 🎉 I've only been going for a couple of months! You must be so proud of yourself! How fabulous that you got to work with such a cool clothing brand too, lucky you! Best of luck with your next five years of blogging! 🙌🏼

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Thanks so much Abbey! It's weird to think I've done this for so long now. Well done for starting your own blog. It's looking great so all the best with it!

      Ashleigh x

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