07/07/2017

MASHING IT UP WITH MESH AND HOW I GOT BODY CONFIDENT


Body confidence doesn't come easy and I'm not going to pretend that I've always been confident. I haven't. So, how did I get this new relatively new found confidence? Where did it come from? How can you get it too?

In all honesty, there is no secret. You just need to learn to love yourself and everything else falls into place naturally. I promise you.

I'm still a female human that battles with demons everyday. Actually, this week has been a very odd one for me and I've felt more down than anything. I am usually always a bubbly and happy person, but I've felt very out of touch with myself and have started to pick at my appearance. I feel like watching Love Island religiously every night (ohhhh so guilty over here) and the fact I am constantly active on Instagram, has a huge part to play in how I am feeling about myself right now.

Will that make me stop watching it and log off? Definitely not.



These photos were taken less than two weeks ago and I felt confident in myself to stand in front of a camera in public, half naked and pose. Why? Because I wasn't glued to my phone on social media all day like I am when I am back at home. I didn't have the opportunity to poison my brain with negative thoughts about myself and compare myself to other women. 

As much as I love social media and how it's impossible for me not to use it for my business, it can also be incredibly damaging and the root of evil. 

I start off every single morning with catching up on what I've missed overnight on my social media. Sad, but true. What with the ridiculous algorithm that both Twitter and Instagram now have in place, it means I am faced with what these platforms THINK is the best content to catch up with. 

What does this mean for me? 


I am faced first thing in the morning with a blogger with the most perfect abs, laying perfectly on her bed with a cup of fresh coffee and chocolate croissants. I'm jealous.

I see what looks to me like the perfect relationship; he's looking at her lovingly and she looks like she's never been more in love. I want that relationship.

 I see a fitness influencer has posted a video of her doing squats at the gym and building the most perfect butt. My bum looks like a bowl of jelly compared to hers. 

I see a group selfie of a bunch of girls who have been out for dinner and look stunning in their tight dresses and stiletto heels. I've never been a size 8 in my life. 

I see a gorgeous selfie of a girl with the most perfectly long hair, plump lips and a Hollywood smile to match. I can't afford to change my appearance.

What else do I see? Myself. Laying in bed with hair as wild as Hermione Granger's (you better hope you know who she is!). A bloated stomach because last night's late meal hasn't fully digested yet. An under skin spot forming on my chin, because Mother Nature is about to knock on my door. I get up and look in the mirror and it just gets worse. So, I walk away, ignore the initial thoughts and get ready to start my day.


There is also no secret on how to leave haunting thoughts behind and feed your brain with happy and positive thoughts. Bullshit free, media free and filter free; the only thing I can say on the matter is the following.

I am not 100% positive with my body but I am confident with it. Ladies, it's really important to learn the difference between both of these words when it comes to your body. You can be confident whilst still learning how to be positive; vice versa. 

This week, I have reached out to you guys to tell you how I am feeling. The demons have got the best of me the last few days and I haven't really felt like I am worthy of love. The world is full of many beautiful girls and everyone is replaceable. Why would anyone want me? It's easy to find someone better and it's made me feel like I need to change the materialistic parts of my appearance in order to find love. Just because I am confident with my body, doesn't mean I am confident that I am beautiful. That's something that comes much later and I am working on myself, by myself, to eventually believe in myself. 

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I don't have the flattest stomach and I am working on it. My legs aren't the longest, but I am slowly building muscle and making my legs a lot stronger. My bum has good and bad days, but I know what to wear to make it look good. My eyes are big and green and I know they look best with orange/warmer toned eyeshadows. Loving your body is a trial and error type of game. Allow yourself to make mistakes, because when you feel good, you'll feel bloody brilliant. 

I have learned something important and that is that I have to live with what I was born with and have grown over 24 years. Six months ago, I decided to work on myself, by myself and it's been doing wonders. 



Starting a fitness journey by going to the gym 4-5 times a week has been amazing. I've lost fat and built muscle and it's amazing to see my progress. I've become quite obsessed with it and fear "losing my gains", so it gives me the kick up the bum to go to the gym and never give up on improving myself.

Wearing the right type of swimwear and lingerie for my body shape has been so important. Wear a bra that is too big or small, you're going to feel shit. Sweet girl, go and get your jugs measured and fitted properly into gorgeous, sexy bras and I guarantee you that you will feel one hundred times better. 

This gorgeous UK Swimwear bikini is something I would have totally avoided a few years ago. Me wearing mesh? Have a laugh, pal. However, now I can't get enough of it, because I feel sexy and confident and totally in love with who I am


Of course, I still have those days like the most recent ones, where I just want to delete Instagram and hide my body in baggy clothes. It's totally normal to have those days when you live in a society like that of today's. 

Yep, it's a scary thing sticking photos of yourself in underwear and swimwear online but you know what... so bloody what. It's 2017, get a grip.  Fortunately, I've only ever had positive comments from such a supportive network and community and being in this online game for 6 years means I have grown a very thick skin. Personally, I would never take a negative comment about my face or body to heart. Whether that's from an online troll, a friend or a man. 

I don't need to have another person's approval to love myself and nor should you. 

Disclaimer: Contains PR Samples. All words, opinions and photographs are my own.
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28 comments

  1. Your completely gorgeous Ashleigh. Well done for speaking out about it all. Xx

    Lindsay | www.lindsaydavison.co.uk

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    1. Thanks Lindsay! I am quite pleased with this post :)
      xo

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  2. Fuck yes!!!! Loving yourself is a tough road but one well well worth taking because at the end of it there's you, not giving an F about what anyone else thinks! You look fucking fabulous in this bikini & I adore your tattoo!! 😍 Go on girl!!! Love yourself & continue being beautiful!! 😘😘
    Love Sarah
    Xoxoxoxo

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    1. Aww this was a lovely comment to read, thank you Sarah. You're beautiful too! xxx

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  3. Body confidence is so important. I'm a bit of a contradiction as I find it hard to look at myself in a mirror but have no issue wearing a bikini on holiday. Yesterday I wanted to wear a jumpsuit but didn't feel confident yet I managed to go out in shorts and t-shirt and not shave my legs and I was fine with it. I'm very positive towards towards others but me and my body are at a bit of an impass. I get there then we fall out. You look fab in that bikini and this is a great post x

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    1. I completely know what you mean! I feel fine in a bikini, but sometime struggle looking at my body in denim shorts. I think it's just what we do as women though.. constantly picking at our appearances. Thanks for your comment and kind words xx

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  4. This is such an inspirational post. You are right, we all have our demons but we should still be confident in ourselves. You look incredible.

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  5. Love this post! you look absolutely fab in this bikini! x

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  6. You look absolutely AMAZING! I feel like the more confident you are the better it makes you look. I hope I'll get to the point where I'm confident enough to feel good in anything I wear. You're such an inspiration! xxx

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  7. Having self-confidence is something I struggled with for years... And still do, actually... I'm not a well-built man , so I was always bullied for the way I look. But in the end, I've become confident with who I am as a person, which overrides my self-doubt about my body

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  8. You are gorgeous. I agree us ladies need to know the difference between the words positive and confident. So proud of you for being more confident!

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  9. You look amazing!!! What I've learnt and what I'll be passing on to my daughter is that you'll never be as beautiful as you are right now. so flaunt it. Don't feel insecure or ashamed of anything because these are your best days and if you don't flaunt it now you'll look back and regret it.

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  10. You look absolutely amazing! You are totally rocking that bikini and I love the mesh detail on it. Rock the positivity!

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  11. Honestly (and I am not just saying this) I think your body is beautiful and I would kill to have your curves. I know what you mean though about social media being damaging to our self confidence! x

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  12. Thank you for writing this post and sharing these pictures. For the first time ever I've been able to say, 'that looks like me.' Your body is like mine and it is lovely to feel like I can relate to you. Your images offer more than a reassurance, but also a confirmation that your body is incredible... (so maybe, just maybe mines not that bad too...)

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  13. Thank you for this post as I am sure almost all of us can relate in some way. I hate myself for looking at social media and feeling jealous of other's. You look absolutely stunning in this bikini and I am glad you felt confident enough in it x

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  14. You look great and I think that everyone should be comfortable and confident on the beach.
    I love the mess look.

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  15. Yes, we don't need anyone's approval. We should be confident with who and what we are. Cheers to that!

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  16. oh im loving your body confidence i actually really love this and im sure if i bought the right size it wouldnt look as bad as think x

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  17. You are absolutely gorgeous and your confidence just adds to that. I couldn't do what you just did, I literally panic about being seen in my swim wear by my husband, but I am working on it!!

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  18. This was a lovely post and has really got me thinking. I've been feeling quite down about myself lately, noticing that I have put weight on and I didn't feel entirely comfortable in my body on holiday. This post has really go me thinking about how I need to work on myself and that I can make myself feel better! Also, I love your bikini, it really suits you! Stay confident and keep going :D

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  19. You look incredible, you are rocking this bikini! xxx

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  20. Girllll you look good! I'd happy strut out in the mesh with your body. This is such an inspiring post, I'm really struggling with body confidence right now so it's lovely to read that someone else struggled but got to a point where you learn to love yourself

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  21. I really like mesh swimwear, it looks so eye catching and edgy. You look great too!

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  22. I love this post you look stunning!! I am way too critical of myself since having kids!

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  23. Such a great post on important topic, I think body confidence is a topic that can never be addressed too much! You look amazing girl and I love that bikini, the mesh detail is such a nice addition! ♥︎

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  24. i swear to god i'm falling in love with you.

    you rock.

    you're gorgeous.

    you're KILLING it.

    so bloody what indeed.

    katie xx lacoconoire.com

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