MASHING IT UP WITH MESH AND HOW I GOT BODY CONFIDENT

Body confidence doesn't come easy and I'm not going to pretend that I've always been confident. I haven't. So, how did I get this new relatively new found confidence? Where did it come from? How can you get it too?

In all honesty, there is no secret. You just need to learn to love yourself and everything else falls into place naturally. I promise you.

I'm still a female human that battles with demons everyday. Actually, this week has been a very odd one for me and I've felt more down than anything. I am usually always a bubbly and happy person, but I've felt very out of touch with myself and have started to pick at my appearance. I feel like watching Love Island religiously every night (ohhhh so guilty over here) and the fact I am constantly active on Instagram, has a huge part to play in how I am feeling about myself right now.

Will that make me stop watching it and log off? Definitely not.

Pour Moi 'Glamazon' Convertible Bikini Top

These photos were taken less than two weeks ago and I felt confident in myself to stand in front of a camera in public, half naked and pose. Why? Because I wasn't glued to my phone on social media all day like I am when I am back at home. I didn't have the opportunity to poison my brain with negative thoughts about myself and compare myself to other women. 

As much as I love social media and how it's impossible for me not to use it for my business, it can also be incredibly damaging and the root of evil. 

I start off every single morning with catching up on what I've missed overnight on my social media. Sad, but true. What with the ridiculous algorithm that both Twitter and Instagram now have in place, it means I am faced with what these platforms THINK is the best content to catch up with. 

What does this mean for me? 

I am faced first thing in the morning with a blogger with the most perfect abs, laying perfectly on her bed with a cup of fresh coffee and chocolate croissants. I'm jealous.

I see what looks to me like the perfect relationship; he's looking at her lovingly and she looks like she's never been more in love. I want that relationship.

 I see a fitness influencer has posted a video of her doing squats at the gym and building the most perfect butt. My bum looks like a bowl of jelly compared to hers. 

I see a group selfie of a bunch of girls who have been out for dinner and look stunning in their tight dresses and stiletto heels. I've never been a size 8 in my life. 

I see a gorgeous selfie of a girl with the most perfectly long hair, plump lips and a Hollywood smile to match. I can't afford to change my appearance.

What else do I see? Myself. Laying in bed with hair as wild as Hermione Granger's (you better hope you know who she is!). A bloated stomach because last night's late meal hasn't fully digested yet. An under skin spot forming on my chin, because Mother Nature is about to knock on my door. I get up and look in the mirror and it just gets worse. So, I walk away, ignore the initial thoughts and get ready to start my day.

There is also no secret on how to leave haunting thoughts behind and feed your brain with happy and positive thoughts. Bullshit free, media free and filter free; the only thing I can say on the matter is the following.

I am not 100% positive with my body but I am confident with it. Ladies, it's really important to learn the difference between both of these words when it comes to your body. You can be confident whilst still learning how to be positive; vice versa. 

This week, I have reached out to you guys to tell you how I am feeling. The demons have got the best of me the last few days and I haven't really felt like I am worthy of love. The world is full of many beautiful girls and everyone is replaceable. Why would anyone want me? It's easy to find someone better and it's made me feel like I need to change the materialistic parts of my appearance in order to find love. Just because I am confident with my body, doesn't mean I am confident that I am beautiful. That's something that comes much later and I am working on myself, by myself, to eventually believe in myself. 

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I don't have the flattest stomach and I am working on it. My legs aren't the longest, but I am slowly building muscle and making my legs a lot stronger. My bum has good and bad days, but I know what to wear to make it look good. My eyes are big and green and I know they look best with orange/warmer toned eyeshadows. Loving your body is a trial and error type of game. Allow yourself to make mistakes, because when you feel good, you'll feel bloody brilliant. 

I have learned something important and that is that I have to live with what I was born with and have grown over 24 years. Six months ago, I decided to work on myself, by myself and it's been doing wonders. 

Pour Moi 'Glamazon' Bikini Bottoms

Starting a fitness journey by going to the gym 4-5 times a week has been amazing. I've lost fat and built muscle and it's amazing to see my progress. I've become quite obsessed with it and fear "losing my gains", so it gives me the kick up the bum to go to the gym and never give up on improving myself.

Wearing the right type of swimwear and lingerie for my body shape has been so important. Wear a bra that is too big or small, you're going to feel shit. Sweet girl, go and get your jugs measured and fitted properly into gorgeous, sexy bras and I guarantee you that you will feel one hundred times better. 

This gorgeous UK Swimwear bikini is something I would have totally avoided a few years ago. Me wearing mesh? Have a laugh, pal. However, now I can't get enough of it, because I feel sexy and confident and totally in love with who I am. 

Of course, I still have those days like the most recent ones, where I just want to delete Instagram and hide my body in baggy clothes. It's totally normal to have those days when you live in a society like that of today's. 

Yep, it's a scary thing sticking photos of yourself in underwear and swimwear online but you know what... so bloody what. It's 2017, get a grip.  Fortunately, I've only ever had positive comments from such a supportive network and community and being in this online game for 6 years means I have grown a very thick skin. Personally, I would never take a negative comment about my face or body to heart. Whether that's from an online troll, a friend or a man. 

I don't need to have another person's approval to love myself and nor should you. 

Disclaimer: Contains PR Samples. All words, opinions and photographs are my own.