25/07/2017

9 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM LOVE ISLAND


If you've been hooked on this year's Love Island, then you'll be joining me in a downward slump tonight.

Every night for 43 episodes, I have cancelled all evening plans, planned the gym for earlier in the day and made sure my dinner was on a plate much earlier than 9pm. Why? So I could lock myself in my bedroom at 8.55PM, ready for another hour of absolute brain rot. However, it's this addiction that has got me craving another fix tonight. Tough and somewhat unlucky, as it's sadly over for another year.

Last night's finale got me thinking. Firstly, why have I never watched a previous series of this show? Secondly, who is ITV's stylist?! And finally... what have I learned from watching 43 episodes of this year's series?

Well, this is exactly what I have learned.

1) It's possible to change the mentality of a 'fuck boy'.

When Chris walked into the villa, my automatic impression was EW. I mean, physically, yeah I'd rip his clothes off. However, his personality came across very uptight, arrogant and he seemed to think everyone fancied him. It seems many of us on Twitter agreed and it's always a difficult job to get another chance at making a first impression.

However, a few weeks passed and the nation simply fell in love with farmboy, Chris Hughes. Deep down, he's a sensitive and genuine person with a heart of gold and this came across very clear during the beginning of his whirlwind relationship with fellow islander, Olivia.

It got me thinking. How many fuck boys have I dated in my lifetime? A LOT. How many fuckboy relationships have worked out? None. How many did I try to change? Errrrr, none.

Don't get me wrong. Most fuck boys are literal fuck boys and won't change until their willies fall off from having sex with too many girls. However, there must come a point when a fuck boy (either senior or in-training) must want to stop messing about, meet a nice girl and settle down?

Basically, Chris, if you're ever rid of Olivia and reading this; hit me up boy. 




2) I have absolutely NO life or love interest that has distracted me from Love Island.


Ya know, most people go on Friday date nights to the cinema or spend Sunday's together watching rubbish TV.  What have I been doing for the duration of the show? In my room, making no noise and pretending I don't exist. Watching rubbish TV. Alone.

3) Essex boys really do love the typical Essex looking 'bird'.


Jonny went for Tyla. Mike wanted Tyla. Jonny secretly had an egg in another basket and is now with Chyna. Kem is with Amber. All these girls look like the typical girls that live in my hometown of Essex and to be honest, it's painfully accurate and puts me off dating.

I recently dated someone from Essex and I honestly always felt he was "too Essex" for me. Everything from the hair, fashion sense, accent and lifestyle; I knew from day one that I wasn't this guy's true 'cuppa tea. Nor was he mine. No matter how much I wanted to ride him like a pony.

Swiping on Tinder means I come across these typical TOWIE lookalikes all. the. time. Yeah, of course Dan the 26 year old city bod from Brentwood is fit, so I swipe right. Do I ever match with Dan? With Ben from Loughton? With Marco the Greek god? With Jack the builder from Basildon? Nope. I'm just not Essex enough. Sadly, my hair is my hair. My teeth are my teeth. My lips are mine and I don't have a range rover or a dog that fits in my handbag. Man, I don't even use handbags.


4) The realisation that I've never had a romantic date.


This hit me hard yesterday when the couples each had to read their partner a letter they had written. Most people in this year's Love Island are my age and have coupled up with very fit looking people. They've been on amazing dates; slap up meals, picnics in the sun, helicopter rides etc.

The most romantic date I've had is to Nandos and getting dropped home afterwards. Oh the shame.


5) Persistency and not giving up, will make sure you find something real.


Hands up if you loved Sam? Both my hands are up and waving. Although not the most attractive, I think he was the most genuine and most funny guy in the villa this year. This made me automatically fancy him a lot and and I'm so happy he finally managed to couple up with Essex girl, Georgia. With so many knock backs and girls telling him he uses too much tongue (which is actually a thing that so many guys need to learn), he finally had a happy ending. Yaaaay!

6) Realising I have certain Olivia traits and feeling horrified whilst witnessing it in someone else. 


Olivia was branded this year's psycho on the show, because of the many hissyfits she had and arguments she caused between her and Chris and some other islanders. It was blatant to see on my TV screen that she was pushing Chris away in order to get attention off him. She used this dangerous 'technique' as a somewhat plan and it almost backfired.

Sadly, I could relate to Olivia so much and this is something that I am horrified about seeing first hand. Although I don't bark at people like she does (unless I am on my period and so have the excuse to), I have been guilty of pushing people away to get a reaction when it feels like they don't care or are not bothered about a certain situation.

It's much easier for me to end something and walk away, than bother to try fight both sides of an argument. However, I have learned that not every argument has an invitation. Being hurt so much in the past has made me that way and it's hard to change your mentality of having to protect yourself, when it's all you're used to. It definitely has made me think about the way I act in relationships.


7) There is a tiny bit of hope that I will bag a Calvin Klein model when I least expect it.


Camilla never saw it coming. We never saw it coming either and thought Camilla would end up a single lady for the duration of the show. Then in comes hunky Jamie; a Calvin Klein model who's been living life in New York for the past 10 years. You wouldn't put them together but they're both happy and it's lovely to see.

Is it genuinely going to last? Who knows.


7) You can never 100% anyone - no matter how close you are with them.


I have serious trust issues anyway, but how many times did we catch someone in the villa bitching about a so-called friend? Plenty.  Eyes are on Gabby, Montana and Olivia here.

8) You're guaranteed to walk out of the villa with a man with a 6-pac - or at least snog/shag one anyway.


Don't get me wrong here, every woman loves a man with a nice body. Tanned skin, killer abs and a perky bum to match; yes please. However, I do also have a guilty pleasure for a dad bod. Most of the men I go for have some kind of dad bod. Whether this is a bit of a belly, a bit of an odd dress sense or a hairy chest.

Yet, no one walked into the villa who resembled this.  I WAS WAITING AND LOVE ISLAND LET ME DOWN.


9) I really, really want to go on next year's Love Island.


It's quite sad isn't it when you're agreeing in your head and heart that you want to be in next year's Love Island villa? Of course, I have no idea if I will be single or in a relationship next summer. However, I have also come to the realisation that I am just not visually appealing enough for a show that's so filtered and all about looks. So, I probably won't apply.  Siiiiiiigh. 

There's 9 things I have learned! Have you been as addicted as me to this year's series?
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21 comments

  1. One day you will find your Mr. Right and he will sweep you off your feet x

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  2. I've never watched Love Island, but the idea that people can change is very important, while some people are idiots forever, there are some people who make genuine mistakes and it's good to seperate them. You'll find your perfect guy when the times right x

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  3. I didn't watch a single episode of love island, but I wish I had done! Also having nothing to do and nobody to see in the evenings I think it would have kept me entertained!

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  4. I didn't watch any of Love Island, but everyone seemed so hooked on it I wish I had. Don't worry about never having a romantic date, I haven't either! But my perception of romance has changed since I met my boyfriend. Romance to me now is when I'm in a hell of a mood and he brings me pizza. Suits me much better!

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  5. I have to admit, I've never watched Love Island before and I feel like I've missed out! x

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  6. Love Island was so, so good - I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with my evenings now!
    I loved watching the transformation in Chris, and I definitely think you should apply for next years. I'm tempted to myself :)

    Dani x

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  7. Even though I didn't watch it, I still laughed at this post based on everything I heard about it!

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  8. I started watching love island, but I stopped after the second episode. Everyone seems obsessed with it this year though.

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  9. I haven't watched any Love Island at all! But I feel like I know the show really well as it's literally been everywhere this year!

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  10. I hear you about Chris. When he first walked in he seemed really arrogant but I still liked him as I thought he had more to offer. I was right he turned out to be a lovely guy, I honestly have no idea how he has the patience to deal with Olivia x

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  11. I Have not been watching Love Island. Not my type of Tv really.
    I know what you mean about a lot of what you have said though. I also haven't really had a romantic date. Though my favourite date was with my partner i'm with now.. We went to nottinghill carnival and partied and hung out and cued up for the smelly toilets toggether hahaha. (total romance that) It was the best!

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  12. I can honestly say I have no idea who the people on there are having not watched it or even seen any adverts. I don't think it's a programme I could watch during my limited tv time.

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  13. I never even saw one episode of Love Island and I hear it was addictive. Don't worry too much about it really, I am sure you will be whisked away when you lease expect it.

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  14. I have been putting off watching love island so badly because I know once i start watching it, theres not going back!

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  15. This post cracked me up but I agreed with everything you said! Loved the pics too! Perfection!

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  16. I haven't watched Love Island before but I've been told I need to watch it next time around as it's great fun.

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  17. Nice post. I agree with everything you said!

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  18. Nice post. I agree with everything you said. Love the picture and idea.

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  19. I actually didn't watch Love Island, but I'm definitely going to consider it next year! xxx

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  20. These observations are hilarious! I never watched Love Island but loads of colleagues said it was great. Interesting what you say about Essex boys though... mine must be an exception to the rule... so I married him! 🙌🏻💪👍😀

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