The Men (Boys) I Date


This year has been my year. I haven't had a relationship. I've been hurt, friend zoned people and just generally not really given a damn!

Dating apps such as OkCupid!, Plenty Of Fish and my personal favourite, Tinder, have meant meeting people is super easy and quite fun. However, almost a year later since I started online dating, I am still as unsuccessful as I was at the beginning of the year. I've had some experience in the whole online dating shenanigans now,  so I thought it would be funny for my own amusement and yours to look back on some of the "men" I have dated this year. Some are worse than others!

In no particular order...

Mr Tattooed & Pierced
This was actually my first ever date at the beginning of the year. I was incredibly nervous! We went to a pub for a drink and then to Starbucks for a hot chocolate which was nice don't get me wrong, but he was SUCH a bad person.

Mr Guitar Singer
Picture this... the guy you used to hang around with as a teenager and circumstances never allowed you to both "go there". Now picture this, it's years later and you both get into contact again, find out you're both single and it just so happens you're now both mature adults. So yeah, we attempted to "go there" and spent a couple of months seeing each other but things just never worked out.

Mr Milkshake 
Probably the sweetest guy I have ever dated. We went to a milkshake bar for our date which was chilled and I felt super relaxed around him. We then decided to go cinema but I can't remember the film (oops - I promise it was a good date!). We kept talking for a few weeks after but things soon fizzled out and it turned out he still had feelings for the EX-GF anyway. Doh!

Mr 'I Have a Good Job So You Should Automatically Fancy Me'
First things first, he had a goatee. I literally hate the in-between facial hair stage. Either grow a beard or shave it off!!! We actually didn't have anything in common so now I'm just puzzled writing this wondering why I actually ever met him but they do say opposites attract and all that. Just not in this case! We met up in London and went for a pizza which was nice but all he did was go on about himself and then thought taking me for a meal meant a ticket into my knickers!

Mr Italian Stallion
Not reeeeally a stallion but he was Italian! He was a sweet guy and we hung out quite a bit but he just didn't know what he wanted.

Mr Big Man, Small Car
Lee was a lovely guy and was a whole 6 foot 4 so it was funny standing next to him. This was another cinema date and he picked me up in his fiat 500. Do you know how funny it was seeing a 6 ft 4 guy driving a fiat 500? HILARIOUS. He wasted my time though and all he did was bitch about his ex to me. Turn off!

Mr Instagram
Hahaha still to this day I love this guy to bits but decided a long time ago he was and never would be relationship material. I find it REALLY off putting when guys follow about a million other girls on Instagram. Guess I friend zoned this one from day one!

Mr Toy Boy
A little younger than me (he was almost 20), so definitely a risk for any twenty one year old independent woman. The first date was more a hang out in his car (sigh) and the second was the cinema and I actually remember seeing 22 Jump St! However, things fizzled out and he got a girlfriend soon after. Double dater!

Mr Work Buddy
Always a bad idea to say the least but we actually started talking when I left the job we met at so I didn't have to face any awkwardness. We had one date to a local bar and he was a very good kisser!!! But that was simply it.

Mr 'Come Round & Watch X-Factor?'
OK this one is laughable now. I spoke to him for quite some time and the above question was proposed to me. Me being so bloody naive, I went round there purely to watch X-Factor but again, he thought it was a ticket to down under. Siiiiiigh.

Mr 'I Like Watching Rape Documentaries'
This guy drove down from Essex to pick me up and I thought there was a spark. This was until we reached the motorway and he started telling me how he's fascinated by documentaries to do with raping women and such. For real. I have never wanted to go home so bad before. I think it was plain obvious I wasn't interested in him as he dropped me home, without a goodbye to each other and he zoomed off right away and we never spoke again haha. FREAK!

Mr Photographer
Ok now picture this... someone who is exactly the same as you. He was an automotive photographer so I was immediately in 'OMG Mum I think I've met the right guy' denial.  I'll hold my hands up high and admit that our date was so darn sweet. We drove around London late at night taking photos of stuff including a cute walk in Battersea Park followed by walking along the Thames. I liked him so much I even let him stay at my house for a cuddle as he didn't drop me home till 3am. Everything was great and I saw him a few times after. HOWEVER..... we then had an argument. He told me how I should ALWAYS use a tripod in my work and this annoyed me so much. He was incredibly arrogant and thought he was the bees knees so I got rid of that one ASAP!

Mr Let's Hook Up When We're Bored
We'll name this one. Okay so you know there's always that one guy you end up going back to? This is Alex. There was no chemistry between us at all. It was all just very sexual. The first time I met him within minutes we was arguing and we carried on arguing throughout the whole day. I ended up telling him where to go and then a week later we were back together doing what we do best... arguing whilst hanging out. I met him one last time and put him in his place. No more! It felt great saying no :)

Mr Bar Man
He was lovely but I just wasn't ready for a relationship at the time.

Mr Postman
Not much to say about this one other than I was stupid and went to his house and ended up leaving my favourite DVD there. He was actually a postman though!

Mr Laid Back
In some ways it's good to be laid back but in other ways it's bad. I don't like being the only person to initiate a conversation and this is how it ended up being between us. The date was good and we got on great but we didn't see each other again.

Mr 'Got What I Want, Nothing Else Needed'
Probably the only one who has actually hurt me. I met this one when I was having a break from dating and I wasn't looking to date again.  He claimed (like they always do) to be different to other boys because they "wouldn't want to see a man treat their mum/sister bad so they don't treat girls bad". I've heard it all before boys! Anyway... I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we started hanging out. Things felt right between us but unfortunately he was just a liar like the rest of them and I decided to walk away.

Mr Double Date
This date was unplanned but just made sense. My friend was going out with his friend so whenever me and my friend went out we would all hang out as a group of four. He was a very attractive guy and I was so happy when I found out he liked me. We went bowling for our first date and then for a meal for the second but things went so weird after and even to this day I am still confused as to what happened. Never mind!

Mr Garden Gnome
He was short hence the nickname but he was also nice, lived local and we seemed to get on. Things just didn't progress.

This is pretty much all of the Mr's I have dated this year although I may have missed out a few?! As you can tell, I sure do pick them. I like guys who are sweet, family orientated, not flash, with a nice enough dress sense and with ambitions in life. Where are you all?!

What's the worst guy you've been on a date with like? I'd love to know if anyone tops mine!

Always remember to stay safe when online dating. It's a fantastic concept but can be dangerous if not thought about carefully. Always let a parent or a friend know who you are meeting, where you are meeting and give them an address if you plan on hanging out at their house or a car number plate if they are picking you up. I also always give someone the phone number of X guy I am meeting as you just never know these days! Touch wood, everyone I have met has been the person they claimed to be but you have to be SO careful!


  1. I'm on the dating scene too and can totally relate to these. I've only dated a couple of people this year as I'm busy with work, but I've met the "Got What I Want" type and the awkward types.

    I think the worst has to be the guy that 1) spat on my shoe (he meant to spit on the ground but it ended up on my shoe, total turn-off spitting in the first place). Then he ordered a pizza and asked if I could finish it as he thought the pizza was disgusting but didn't like wasting food. Needless to say, we didn't see each other after that ;).

    I also naively went to one guy's house, and he turned his computer on, and the contents were projected onto a wall...Anyway, turned out someone had a porn habit! I had to awkwardly look away. Then we decided to go to the seaside (I have no idea why I agreed) and he almost crashed the car trying to overtake.

    I think those are my worst dating experiences! That's probably why I don't date too much anymore...

    1. Hi Sarah,

      Haha, they sound like some truly awful dates! YUCK to the spitting guy! That would have turned me off straight away and I definitely wouldn've bye there and then. Lucky for him to get a meal with you even with his piggish habits!

  2. Hahaha I see now why you can completely relate! The main one who annoyed me was the got what I wanted guy. Isn't it crazy that even though we hear those lines like Im not like them etc. We know its bullshit but still give them a chance?! I suppose it was good for you to give the guy a chance and you learned from it. And you fell for the "we can jist watch X factor" line!! Same here haha what are we like! Really great post missus so glad you commented on my blog because now I found your blog to binge read through!! Love reading relationship and dating posts! Hows the love scene lately? :)


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