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five tips: #2 Surviving a break-up

I'm still new to the experience of breaking up with a boyfriend so I wasn't too sure whether to include this in my new little feature, but hey ho, I'm going in!

1) Cry loads and watch soppy movies within the first two weeks:
This is exactly what I did. From the likes of 'The Notebook' (probably the best but worst film to watch at such a time) and Jennifer Aniston's, 'The Break Up' which is probably the best one to watch as it reminded me I am better off without a man like that in my life! Don't worry about your figure. Eat lots of junk food, with a million calories. It doesn't matter about the calories, just keep on eating. I think I must have eaten about 148971234 Twirl bites pouches. Buy cheesy nachos and only share with family and friends.

2) Spend time with the people who mean the most:
I know this sounds so cheesy, but it literally is sooo true. I lived in my room for a whole month. I was in a very dark place and I have never felt like that in my whole life before. I regret spending so long by myself as looking back at it all now, I have lost out on a month's quality time with my family. I'm not really one for "going out", mainly because as soon as I left school, I got into a relationship and that's how life has been up until almost five months ago. However, one day I thought ya know what, I'm going out! I went out with some friends and life was grand.

3) Throw yourself into something you love:
Breaking up with my ex was unfortunately around the time my University interviews were scheduled and final projects were due. Looking back at it now, which is kinda weird as it still wasn't that long ago, I really do regret letting him get to me and get in the way of my college work. I remember waking up one day after missing three weeks solid of college and thinking 'I can't go on like this any longer'. I unfortunately had to face my biggest fear; seeing him in college and I think that was a big reason behind me refusing to leave my room and attend college. However, I attended. I remember it being a Wednesday. I got in for 9am, walked past his classroom and got on with my day. I caught up on loads of work and felt simply, great. Since that day, I threw myself back into my college studies and spent a couple of weeks on my final major project, which was fortunately around the area I grew up in which meant I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. Photography is the one subject I have adored for years and the thought of failing at something I love just because of a person who doesn't care and has no feelings really scares me. I nearly let him ruin everything for me.

4) Listen to happy music:
I remember Olivia telling me on twitter a few days after I broke up with him to listen to Beyonce's album. I have never really been into Beyonce. After listening to her album for the first time, it was something I continued to listen to non-stop. All her songs are about being an independent, powerful woman which is what us women are! We don't need any man to depend on (even though it feels like the world's going to end at first). AVOID SAD, DEPRESSING BREAK UP MUSIC. I went through a phase of listening to End of the road over and over again (cheesy!) until someone told me to stop. Listen to Joe Brooks. He's not that well known but his album is so beautiful. You will know what I mean when you listen to his music, but it really makes me happy and excited for the guy who I will meet in the future who will treat me a million times better than my ex ever did.

5) Spend money on yourself:
As selfish as this sounds, buying something you've wanted for ages will really cheer you up. You don't have to buy presents for the guy anymore, think of it like that! I was lusting over disco pants for absolutely ages and £70 is obviously a big amount of pennies to spend on one item of clothing. My laptop cursor hovered over the 'submit order' button for days and days, but then I did it. If there's something you've wanted for more than a month but aren't too sure whether to purchase or not; purchase :-)

If you have recently broken up with your boyfriend, I am really sorry. This is going to sound like a huge, fat lie but it does get better. I remember people always telling me this over and over again but I never believed it. My instant thoughts (although I never said it as it's slightly on the rude side) were 'grrr go away, what do you know?! this feeling's gonna be here forever!'. It really does get better. I never relied on a guy before my relationship so I don't need to rely on one now. I am far more happier these days and it's because I have learnt what it's like to be alone. I'm a lot closer with my Mum. I have lost weight. I am able to buy clothes that he didn't approve of before. There are lots of advantages to breaking up with someone. They're just hard to recognise at first.

By no means am I completely over this huge hiccup in my life. A part of me will always think 'what if i', but I am no longer going to blame myself. I didn't do anything wrong. Breaking up with people is a part of life. You like I, just need to learn that you don't deserve to feel how you currently do. You're worth a million of him.
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27 comments

  1. So glad you're finally in a happy place. Everything you say is totally true; it just takes time! :)

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    1. It really does! Thank you Lauren. Hope you're well?
      A x

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  2. I find this so relatable to how I was only a few months ago and how I nearly ruined my chances of passing university, and having fun with my friends for crying in a dark bedroom analysing every tiny detail. But you are right, things DO get better and sometimes it takes being so low to realise what you've got and some alone time to become yourself again. I'm glad you're happier :) x

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    1. We're so stupid, right? I'm glad you are happier now too. Hope you are well Lauren :)
      A x

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  3. Absolutely brilliant, it's inspiring to see you come fighting back through the other side of it all :-)

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    1. I didn't think I ever would! Thank you Sam!
      A xo

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  4. Such a brilliant post! Thanks for sharing your experience and I'm so happy that you've found a content point in your life!

    xx

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    1. No worries. It was a pleasure to put together to help girls who are going through similar things. Thank you so much!
      A x

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  5. All of these things are so true, and I think it's easy to forget them. Unfortunately when I broke up with my boyfriend I'd not been alone since just before I was 14, so I didn't really know what it was like to be on my own. Incidentally, I found a new boyfriend, who's lovely, by chance soon after, though I'm still 'getting over' not being with my ex. But I know now I've got to have some space in my life for other things. Like you say, we need to not rely on a guy and make ourselves happy! Hope you're getting happier about it xx

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    1. Yeah, I don't think you will ever 100% get over your first love. But that's so true. I have a lot to look forward to. I am a lot happier now thank you Laura :)
      A x

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  6. This is a lovely post, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years for a short while & it really was the worst experience of my life, I didn't know what to do with myself, if only I had known some of these tips! I'm sure this will help so many girls :) x

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    1. I hope you two are okay now?! I really hope it helps. It's weird giving advice for something I went through not so long ago!
      A x

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  7. I'm so happy that you're not stuck in your room anymore. I saw your tweets when it all happened and I knew saying "it'll get better" wouldn't help but I'm glad you've realised that now! Men are too much hassle anyway haha. By the way, your photo on the left is GORGEOUS!!!

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    1. Thank you Gavina! Yeah, I was kinda sick of that 'phrase' haha but it's so true. And men are definitely too much hassle! Oh thank you, it was from a 1950's photoshoot I modelled for :-)
      A x

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  8. this is such a great post <3
    im glad you got back into college, doing something you love is always a good way of feeling better!
    Rosie xo

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  9. It's so lovely to see that you're feeling better! This is something that everyone can relate to whether they like to admit it or not. Like you say time goes on and things do better, you find that self esteem you once lacked and have time for things you never did before hand. Congrats on getting through college and good luck for the future, and don't EVER look back!

    Hannah xo

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    1. So agree with that! I'm a lot more confident now, in more ways than others. I wasn't so confident before. That's another advantage! Thank you very much Hannah. That was a lovely comment to read and reply to.
      Ashleigh x

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  10. Such a brilliant post, if only I'd of had this to read when I split with my boyfriend because it really is true, it does get better too! Glad you're staying strong :) I'm sure this post will help many x

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    1. I really hope it has helped other girls! Hope you are well :)
      A x

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  11. This a an amazing post! So glad you're happier! You can tell that going through this has made you happier and in a better place in your life! :) Me and my ex broke up about 2ish months ago after he told me something really really bad. He wasn't the person I genuinely thought he was and it makes me so angry that he lied to me for the best part of a year. At first I cried ALOT and wondered how the hell I was going to live life without him in it, but time DOES really help. I decided to ring him a few weeks ago after missing him really bad one day and it was one of those 'what the hell did I see in him?' moments. This post made me smile loads, because although I'm more or less over him (just bitter now and a bit angry! :p) it made me realise that I'm not worth getting upset by him anymore! xxx

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    1. Ouch, hope you're okay now though?! I know exactly what you mean. It's like I was fooled for the whole three years into thinking 'he' was decent bla bla bla, but then he changed and I just feel like a mug now. I really hope this post has helped! And no guy is worth a lady's tears! Hope you're well Katie. :)
      A x

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  12. I was with my ex the whole time I was at uni, and missed out on a lot, for someone who really really turned out not to be worth it. He still conacts me occasionally, and still pisses me off, so I've had to delete everything, block his number, his whatsapp, email, fb, skype, everything, and as well as being therapeutic, it also gives a sense of closure, even if, like me, you're sobbing uncontrollably the whole time.

    Apparently it take half the length of the relationship to truly get over someone, so it's ok to still feel sad occasionally, and i def gets better, and I completely agree about throwing yourself into your work. :)

    xx

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    1. Really sad to hear about that Charlotte, but as long as you're happier now, that's all that matters. I never knew that, does it really? It's going to take me around 18 months then?! Interesting..
      A x

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    2. That's ok :). Thank you! Exactly, and we're all still so young, and I completely agree with being able to spend your money on you now!

      Yeah, It's going to take me 18 as well so about 6 to go... Ah well, it's already tons better, and sounds like you're doing better already! :) xx

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  13. This is an inspiring post. I'm currently going through a rough time with my boyfriend and I have spent most of today, actually, crying on-and-off, getting really upset, then getting angry thinking 'no, actually, it's his fault, I shouldn't be wasting tears on him'. I stumbled across your post today through your twitter and now, here I am, taking your advice, listening to Beyonce and I feel A LOT better. It's been great reading through some comments from your followers too, it's given me a lot of food for thought and I just want to say "Thank You" really, even though I don't personally know you, but I just see things a lot differently after 5 minutes of reading through this simple post! I think your blog is awesome and I think I'm a follower too :) P.S. I'm so glad you've got through everything with your ex and I'm sure such a lovely person (as you come across as) will get to find your "Mr Right" sometime soon and that you'll get to be happy again, and until then, I hope you enjoy your single life to the fullest, because you deserve to! xx

    http://ohchaarr.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Oh Charlotte, if you ever need someone to talk to, just drop me an email! Really sad to hear that. I hope you are okay. If he is worth it, you will both pull through and make things work. Glad you feel better after listening to Beyonce. She really does make us feel powerful, right?! Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. It's always lovely to read positive comments regarding my content. And once again, thank you! I can't wait for the day I meet someone who is indeed; 'Mr Right'. Until then...
      A x

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