five tips: #2 Surviving a break-up
I'm still new to the experience of breaking up with a boyfriend so I wasn't too sure whether to include this in my new little feature, but hey ho, I'm going in!
1) Cry loads and watch soppy movies within the first two weeks:
This is exactly what I did. From the likes of 'The Notebook' (probably the best but worst film to watch at such a time) and Jennifer Aniston's, 'The Break Up' which is probably the best one to watch as it reminded me I am better off without a man like that in my life! Don't worry about your figure. Eat lots of junk food, with a million calories. It doesn't matter about the calories, just keep on eating. I think I must have eaten about 148971234 Twirl bites pouches. Buy cheesy nachos and only share with family and friends.
2) Spend time with the people who mean the most:
I know this sounds so cheesy, but it literally is sooo true. I lived in my room for a whole month. I was in a very dark place and I have never felt like that in my whole life before. I regret spending so long by myself as looking back at it all now, I have lost out on a month's quality time with my family. I'm not really one for "going out", mainly because as soon as I left school, I got into a relationship and that's how life has been up until almost five months ago. However, one day I thought ya know what, I'm going out! I went out with some friends and life was grand.
3) Throw yourself into something you love:
Breaking up with my ex was unfortunately around the time my University interviews were scheduled and final projects were due. Looking back at it now, which is kinda weird as it still wasn't that long ago, I really do regret letting him get to me and get in the way of my college work. I remember waking up one day after missing three weeks solid of college and thinking 'I can't go on like this any longer'. I unfortunately had to face my biggest fear; seeing him in college and I think that was a big reason behind me refusing to leave my room and attend college. However, I attended. I remember it being a Wednesday. I got in for 9am, walked past his classroom and got on with my day. I caught up on loads of work and felt simply, great. Since that day, I threw myself back into my college studies and spent a couple of weeks on my final major project, which was fortunately around the area I grew up in which meant I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. Photography is the one subject I have adored for years and the thought of failing at something I love just because of a person who doesn't care and has no feelings really scares me. I nearly let him ruin everything for me.
4) Listen to happy music:
I remember Olivia telling me on twitter a few days after I broke up with him to listen to Beyonce's album. I have never really been into Beyonce. After listening to her album for the first time, it was something I continued to listen to non-stop. All her songs are about being an independent, powerful woman which is what us women are! We don't need any man to depend on (even though it feels like the world's going to end at first). AVOID SAD, DEPRESSING BREAK UP MUSIC. I went through a phase of listening to End of the road over and over again (cheesy!) until someone told me to stop. Listen to Joe Brooks. He's not that well known but his album is so beautiful. You will know what I mean when you listen to his music, but it really makes me happy and excited for the guy who I will meet in the future who will treat me a million times better than my ex ever did.
5) Spend money on yourself:
As selfish as this sounds, buying something you've wanted for ages will really cheer you up. You don't have to buy presents for the guy anymore, think of it like that! I was lusting over disco pants for absolutely ages and £70 is obviously a big amount of pennies to spend on one item of clothing. My laptop cursor hovered over the 'submit order' button for days and days, but then I did it. If there's something you've wanted for more than a month but aren't too sure whether to purchase or not; purchase :-)
If you have recently broken up with your boyfriend, I am really sorry. This is going to sound like a huge, fat lie but it does get better. I remember people always telling me this over and over again but I never believed it. My instant thoughts (although I never said it as it's slightly on the rude side) were 'grrr go away, what do you know?! this feeling's gonna be here forever!'. It really does get better. I never relied on a guy before my relationship so I don't need to rely on one now. I am far more happier these days and it's because I have learnt what it's like to be alone. I'm a lot closer with my Mum. I have lost weight. I am able to buy clothes that he didn't approve of before. There are lots of advantages to breaking up with someone. They're just hard to recognise at first.
By no means am I completely over this huge hiccup in my life. A part of me will always think 'what if i', but I am no longer going to blame myself. I didn't do anything wrong. Breaking up with people is a part of life. You like I, just need to learn that you don't deserve to feel how you currently do. You're worth a million of him.