SLIDER

Dumped By Text?!

A positive can always come out of a negative. That's what my Mumma always told me and that's what my brain told me today. Slightly on the more personal side of things, but you know what; who gives a shit? If Kim K can make a sex tape and go about her every day life as a Mother and Wife, then I can bloody well tell the world about whatever I like. 

So, here we are.


Firstly, yes you read the title of this post correctly.

I was dumped by text. This morning.

Secondly, I apologise for the late post. I hate blogging so late in the afternoon but I quite frankly realised the sooner I deliver this, the sooner I can move on and be happy; again.

Right.

Firstly, I am okay. I maybe shed two or three tears this morning but so far, so good. For a long time I have been perfectly happy on my own. It had been 18 months just casually dating and enjoying myself with no commitment to anyone. Saying that, I wasn't one of them idiotic people who are anti-committiment. I simply just hadn't met anyone worth giving my freedom up for.

It's crazy how someone can sound and act like they're the best thing in your life since sliced bread (or fresh crusty tiger bread if you're me) and the next they're nothing but someone from your past. It was only yesterday that this new and exciting guy in my life looked me in the eyes and told me he was falling for me. What happens the next day? He dumps me by text message. 

Why? Really, there is no specific reason. I didn't cheat. I didn't lie. I simply told him what was on my mind and I guess there is only so much awesomeness that boys can handle. I'm joking, but no seriously, I thought relationships were all about being able to talk about anything and working on things? Why do people give up on each other so quickly?

So, I bet you are wondering what was on my mind?

I'm twenty two and he's almost twenty four. To be honest, I don't half blame him because I full well knew what I was getting myself involved with. Ladies, and gentleman; I introduce to you the introvert vs. extroverts relationship. Something I have been wanting to address for a while actually, but haven't quite known how to go about it.
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I knew he was an extremely social person and I had doubts way back in the beginning of our blossoming-not-quite-a-real-relationship, but I put them thoughts to the back of my head and knew he would calm down a bit and maybe devote spending a weekend with me for once. I say once lightly as that's all I wanted. You know, a whole Saturday with your new partner in a brand new relationship? The way it's supposed to be? Or so I thought.

Anyway, apparently we didn't agree on much during our world record breaking three week relationship (today might I add but I was dating/seeing him for weeks previously) and I apparently also didn't quite understand his personality - whatever that means.

Truthfully, I think he has thrown away something great when all he had to do was make some slight little adjustments to make room for his relationship which was his choice to make official; not mine. I would never ask someone to start becoming a hermit to make me happy. I generally do like my own space and time on my own to kick back and relax but at the same time I was committed which meant I would have made sacrifices if it meant I would lose the guy I saw a future with. However, that's just common courtesy, isn't it?

We have become so accustomed to communicating through social media and technology that dumping someone by text message isn't frowned upon anymore. Me however? I think it's the most cowardly thing a person can ever do and that's how I know they probably wasn't he right person for me.

On a positive, I guess being back on the market has its perks.

  • I no longer have to shave my vagina for the foreseeable future.
  • I can dig back out my favourite comfy knickers.
  • I am back in control of my valuable time.
  • I can wear my glasses, no makeup and sweatpants.
  • That last slice of pizza is mine.
  • I can kiss boys.
What are your thoughts? Any good uplifting songs you recommend? I'm off to have a shower now, do a face mask and sing He's No Good For You by Megan Trainor on repeat. Until next time...

46 comments

  1. If somebody doesn't make time and compromises for you in the beginning, imagine what it'll be like when you've together a while. You'll find somebody who'll show you what you're really worth, honest. P.S. Your positive notes made me laugh! And I've always found 90s pop girl power songs to be the best to get over the stupid things boys do x

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    1. Well I am glad I made you laugh. I wanted to make this post as positive as possible but still document what has happened. I shall be listening to Spice Girls a lot over the weekend, don't you worry! :)

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  2. He sucks but yay for not shaving your legs, pits or hoo-haa! I'm all for girl power and let's be frank here, most guys don't make us look better or really do anything for us so yup I'm afraid you're right in the he loses out statement hun. Chances are he'll come to realise it and come sneaking right back to you. Chin up chicky, you deserve better.

    Hugs Michelle Elyse || www.ladywoolf.com

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    1. I don't think he will be coming back at all actually but it's possibly a good thing. I would have liked it to have been like the movies, but unfortunately nothing ever is. Thank you though - appreciate your kindness x

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  3. No matter how long you've been dating, dumped by text is cowardly - you seem like a strong woman so I can hope you'll come out stronger <3

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Fashion Beauty - www.brittonloves.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Totally agree! Just think a lot more respect for me would have been shown if it was done differently. 100% a strong woman haha. I'll be fine! :D

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  4. Cannot believe he broke up with u by text. You are way better off without him.

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    1. It absolutely sucks but at least this being done to me is now a mental note in my head never to do that to someone in the future because it didn't feel nice at all.

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  5. My dear, I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you! I think it is an incredibly cowardly thing to break-up with someone, over text. Some guys can be absolute idiots (I know from recent experience). However, I think it is his loss and you clearly deserve someone better than him. Also, I'm so glad to see that you're thinking of the positives (even if they did make me chuckle, a bit!).

    Sending lots of hugs,

    Georgia | Brew up Buttercup x

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    1. I read your blog post about the similar situation actually and we can definitely relate. Guys are super weird! Thank you very much though Georgia. Have a great weekend x

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  6. Considering what's happened, what a well written, nicely put together post. Loved this (though DONT love you were dumped by text.) Sending you all the best wishes in the world - I am the firmest believer that good can come out of bad and you'll come through this happier than ever xxxx

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    1. Thanks very much Nia and thanks for sharing the post. Hopefully some male readers have read this and taken some notes to end a relationship with more decency.

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  7. What a shit!! He's old enough to know better, but you know what, if he's immature enough to make such a move then better off getting out of it now - hope the rest of your weekend makes up for it! Pjs, chocolate, wine, lots of films - ahhhhhhh, lovely! Xx

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    1. Similar comment at the top - so I totally agree! :) Totally having a weekend full of this too. Starting with Batman PJ's tonight :)

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  8. Oh wow! At least you know now what a coward he is rather than further down the line! Someone better will definitely be along soon enough
    AliceMegan

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  9. Same thing happened to me - met a nice man a few weeks later, and we've been together for over a year now. You'll be fine ;) x

    http://www.alicered.co.uk/

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    1. Really! If that happened to me I would be very surprised, haha. I feel like it took me bloody ages to meet this one but yeah we will see, won't we :) Thanks for your comment! X

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  10. That is such a cowards way! You will definitely find someone better, I found my best friend, soul mate and now husband at 25. That special person is out there for you waiting for you to come along xx

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    1. Really?! I am three years off so I have high hopes that 'The One' is out there somewhere now, haha. You are a very lucky lady to have already found him. :)

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  11. Hi Ash, I tried replying to you from my page ( Code's bust ) so I can't but thanks for messaging me anyway.
    Lemon cheesecake biscuits sound mouthwatering.. My mum bought a selection pack of fox's biscuits!!
    Good luck with your gym motivation! ( I'm off for a jog in the morning, burn half the pack)

    As for 'Brian' You're better off, think of the time you'll be 'shaving' off your daily routine (pun) intended.

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    1. Hi Amy! Oh no! No worries at all :) Haha i need all the luck in the world with gym motivation again!
      Hahaha, that did make me chuckle.

      Have a great weekend sweet.

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  12. Anonymous8/3/15

    Ashleigh I'm sorry but you've only put one side of the story out! Do you ever stop to think about who is reading this?! Probably worth a thought before you publish such personal thoughts. You have one side of the story, which is your view, and fair play, but you don't have the other side, so I don't think you should be as quick to encourage those against 'the boyfriend' because at the end of the day you don't have his view!

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    1. Of course I have only put one side of the story out. I'm Ashleigh, not both people. Yes, I have considered that this is a public post for everyone to see but that is the part and parcel of having a blog; you have no control over who reads it. There is no other side to the story 'anonymous; hence why I haven't left any cliffhangers, "who dunnits" or slated him the slightest. All I have done is document on MY blog that the relationship is over and the cowardly way he went about ending it. As for encouraging people to be against him, in no way am I doing this. Everyone has an opinion on it and they are free to share that in MY comments if they like. If I wanted to encourage them to hate on him, I would've said a lot worse or taken to social media, but that isn't my style, nor would I stoop that low.

      Also, I do have his view and it's not much different to mine. If anything it's worse. I'm just facing facts and documented this with decency.

      I'm sorry this has offended you whoever you are but I can only guess you are someone in relation to him considering he said something very similar to me today. Too much of a coincidence. However, nobody knows on my blog or social media channels who he is. People would only get offended over this whole situation if they knew him personally in which case again I totally apologise but I never asked him to share my blog with his friends/family and he did; despite my blog having a lot of personal stuff on it.

      I hope you now understand a little better.

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  13. nancy lynn8/3/15


    i am Nancy lynn from united state,i am 37 year of age,
    i am really short of words, can't finally believe i got my husband back this is my testimony about the man that brought back my husband dr orriwo he gave me the heart and confident to trust in he within the period of 2days right now we are living happily and getting very ready and set for our wedding, i am so much happy knowing full well there are real, true spell casters who can really make things happen within the shortest possible time. for help you can reach him :drorriwo@gmail.com

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  14. Oh, wow! This kind of attitude seems more appropriate for a teenager and not for a 24 years old man. You are better off without him. x

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    1. Age is just a number, as they say! Thanks very much, Anca.

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  15. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I find text dumps to be just rude. May your future dating life be exactly what you want it to be, and l hope you find someone who likes you as the girl who snatches the last piece of pizza right after she's taken all of her makeup off. ;)

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    1. It is very rude indeed. Very low respect and an utter turn off in a person in itself. Ha, thanks very much. One day I shall meet him! <3

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  16. I'd say just listen to a TON of meghan trainor. I love her and her upbeat songs just make me feel so much less crap about ended relationships (I got out of a 3 year relationship a couple months ago and it still stings sometimes). I like to remind myself that my fish in the sea is somewhere out there and after I'm done going through all of the muck and men I'll come out on top and meet the person I'm supposed to be with at the time I'm supposed to meet them. Patients is a virtue I guess

    ManeUntame

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    1. Sorry to hear you've recently come out of such a long relationship. However, you should take your own advice because it's totally true. I have met decent guys don't get me wrong, they're not ALL bad but it's simply a task of finding one who can make me grow as a person, feel safe and content and above all, someone who can give me their time. So far, haven't found him! Definitely patience :)

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  17. He is definitely not worth any of your tears!! The right person will want to spend time with you, he won't notice if you have make up on or not and he will allow you to have to last slice of pizza!! And not care if your vagina is shaved or not!!! haha Your last section made me laugh! I found my fiance just after my 27th birthday! (like a week after!!) I found him through online dating as well!
    You will find someone perfect for you and you will find those sacrifices aren't really sacrifices because you want to do or change those things for that person. So keep smiling hun and you enjoy your comfy knickers and pizza, mr right is out there somewhere. I have had some awful and horrendous relationships in the past, your learn and move on and leave the cowards he dump people by text behind as that is just plain rude! :) xx

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    1. Well, he wasn't bothered about those things anyway but I think it takes a hell'a lot of confidence for a woman to sit around with no makeup and to eat in front of people. Awh you're so lucky to have found someone and get engaged! I think I give up with the whole online dating shenanigans. I really liked this guy and it almost didn't feel as if I had met him through a dating site but hey ho I did and it all soon came crashing down. I agree it's plain rude. Low respect to say the least.

      Thanks for your comment, Jenny. And good luck with the future wedding! I wish you all the best :) X

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  18. I'm actually in love with your blog!! <3 Your style of writing is brilliant and I actually chuckled to myself when reading your perks of being single hahah! Can't wait to see what you post next!!

    You clearly deserve better than that idiot! I think guys in general are so cowardly nowadays. Just when you think 'oh maybe this guy is different', they just prove to you that they're all the same! Ugh, I just can't even deal hhah! xoxo

    ♡Kudzai || NEWKIDBLOGS

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    1. Hello Kudzai,

      Thanks so much! Glad you are enjoying my blog :)

      It's totally true. Chivalry is well and truly dead! And they wonder why we are all so sceptical when we start talking to a new guy and never believe what they say i.e "I'm different I promise".
      They never are.

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  19. Oh hunny this boy don't know just what he's missing!! Take comfort in the fact he dumped you by text, an action of a coward and someone you don't need to be wasting your precious time on!

    Catherine xx
    www.youwishyou.com

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    1. 100% a cowardly action. Oh well, his loss :)

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  20. If one half of a couple can't make time for the other then in my opinion it's never going to work.
    Sounds like you weren't right for each other but it sucks that he went about it in such a detached way :(
    Hope your heart heals soon.
    I don't have any uplifting songs because my tastes are still stuck in the 00's hip hop and Major Lazer but if you want pizza suggestions i'm more than slightly addicted to Dr Oetker's Ristorante 'Pollo' pizza xx

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    1. I agree with this too. Right from the beginning we was never right for each other. I had doubts like I mentioned above but instead of ignoring them, I should have ended what was about to begin between us. It was unfortunately the case of going with my head instead of my heart.

      P.S I love Dr Oetker's pizzas especially the mozzarella and spinach one! YUM. Now i'm hungry, damn.

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  21. Omg what a douche but can I just say I love how you've shed a few tears and moved on in a positive way! You are awesome and the vajayjay bit was hilarious!!
    You enjoy your sweatpants and pizza. One day a true guy will come who isn't a coward hiding behind a phone!

    Bex x

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    1. I don't like to hang about feeling sorry for myself in negative situations like this. Without sounding a tad cheesy, life really is too short to cry over bad people. Hope you're well lovely and still being the #1 cougar!

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  22. He is definitely an arse and not worth your time, but YAY for not having to shave your vagina! Although I think once you're in a long term relationship you get to stop shaving your vagina as much as well. it's like dude this is it, take it or leave it!

    Sending lots of hugs, and I hope you find someone who deserves you soon <3

    Emma x
    Writing Essays With Wine

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    1. Haha, I haven't had anything long term in a loooong time!
      Thank you though however I am REALLY happy on my own for the time being :))

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  23. I definitely think that you've made a positive out of a bit of a shitty situation. By the sounds of it he obviously isn't wanting any kind of commitment and he obviously thought that spending a saturday with you was too much to ask... ain't nobody got time for men like that, lady, especially if you are willing to give something your all. But you know that, you know you're not going to be forever alone so just continue as you are, embracing your fluffy fanny hahaha ;-)

    Jade x
    Girl Up North | UK Lifestyle Blog

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    1. I never really thought about the whole 'commitment' thing, but it probably was a case that he found himself in a committed routine and then began to miss it. I am now so sure of what I want in life though so I have him to thank for purely for that. My fluffy fanny is doing great* :)

      *disclaimer: I don't actually have a fluffy fanny.

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