31/03/2017

SICK OF BITCHES ON THE INTERNET


I'm 24 years old and I have no girl mates, because I quite frankly hate girls. I've always been someone who can easily maintain the banter and upkeep of a male friendship; but I've always struggled with girls. Look at the guy friend I took along for brunch at The Royal Albert Hall a few weeks ago; who happened to also shoot these photos for me. Friends for almost 10 years and not one argument, fall out and certainly no bitchiness in our friendship.  Maybe it's genetical science? Fate? Who knows.

Last week, I made a video talking about this exact topic. Unfortunately, my video editing software mucked up the files, which is why I'm finding myself now typing up all of my thoughts and feelings on my blog instead. So here goes darlings. Get your tea and biscuits ready. Or gin and tonic. It's Friday, no judgement around here.


Last week, I was informed by a blogger that another blogger in this apparent "supportive" community, had decided to write a blog post about me. This post was nothing but a dedicated post to slag me off to all of her followers. Now, I have a very thick skin and I wouldn't usually let things like this get to me. However, all of her facts in the post were actually incorrect and according to her inaccurate blog biography, she states "I live by positive thinking, kindness and gratitude"; amongst other easy to claim qualities, but again anything but true

So, it got me thinking. 

Whilst I don't run around topless with a sign on my head written in period blood, stating that I am a hungry feminist (take this lightly or click off now), I am actually very strong on the topic. I think it's important that as women, we strive to carry on living our lives supporting other women. I can't imagine kicking another woman down, publicly humiliating them or tweeting directly or indirectly all for social attention. That's until now, because bitchy bullies on the internet deserved to be called out


The feminist female's post went on to tell her (teeny tiny) fan base, that I deserve to have my nudes leaked on the internetI can't even comprehend how this thought can land in a woman's brain, let alone the audacity to openly state it on the internet for all to see. It's ignorant, rude and disgusting reading this by someone who reckons they radicalise positivity, kindness and good morals. Sounds to me like these people need re-parenting or their brains to be re-tuned.

It's a funny feeling when you read articles and tweets/comments online about yourself. It's almost as if people think they know you better than you know yourself. I've been lucky in the almost six years that I have been blogging, that I haven't read many negative articles or really dealt with much trolling. Until now, that is.

We are almost on the 4th month of the year and I've already dealt with being slagged off for writing about my life online by the feminist chick. Just last week, I was called racist by another blogger (who I thought was my friend, lolz), for publicly stating that terrorists (of any religion) who kill innocent people don't deserve to live afterwards. I'm sorry, but stating that a killer deserves to die after killing innocent people, does not make me racist. Then there was a girl I had on Facebook who decided to call me a pig and troll my blog with hate comments because of the same "oh-mah-gaaad, you're racist" thing. Oh and my personal favourite, directly and indirectly being tweeted childish bullshit a few weeks ago and even more recently by my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend; and so far, 4 of her troll-doll friends too. 


I think the likes of #InternationalWomensDay is a load of bullshit. On the actual day, I tweeted my thoughts on people who try to shame the day and take it away from us women who simply feel proud to be women. However, not even a month on and I do wonder to myself why women support women on one day of the year, but kick and punch them to the floor for the other 364 days of the year.

Obviously, I am well aware that not ALL women are complete and utter bitches and I am overwhelmed with positive tweets and blog comments from women everyday. Ten nice comments outweigh one horrible one and as I say, it's not a regular thing I have experienced until recently.

I was brought up in an environment that is saturated with women who run the pack and do it well. These women are strong fighters and have experienced fear that I can't imagine ever having to face. It's second nature to me to lift women up, praise them and carry on fighting for the equality that our ancestors and family that have been on these grounds since-before-you-were-born*, have fought to have in place for so long. 

*Must stop quoting Harry Potter and remain serious. 


COAT: MISSGUIDED BUT THEY USE REAL CAT FUR SO I WON'T BUY FROM THEM ANYMORE!
TOP: NEW LOOK
BAG: TRENDEO*
JEANS: RIVER ISLAND
BOOTS: TRENDEO*

I am not afraid to voice my opinion across the internet. I have around 15,000 followers across all of my social media platforms and that's a scary audience for some people. For me? It's anything but. One follower is just an extra pair of eyes to read my work or look at my photography on Instagram. An extra pair of ears to watch my videos or Snapchat stories. An extra voice on the internet to voice their opinion or constructively criticise a blogger or vlogger's content. But to bitch, slate, slag off and advertise hate to your followers about someone else? That's something else. That's not being a follower or reader of someone's content. That's just being a straight-up bitch. 


The blogging community as of late, seems to have become this super shiny, clean and minimalistic world, which I don't want to be a part of. I couldn't think of anything worse than sticking to a norm because it's what everyone else is doing and what everyone thinks they need to be doing too.

There's only so many lipstick swatches, Instagram's of your poached eggs and avocado breakfast and the coffee connoisseur glorified image of your Starbucks cup, before I get bored and totally switch off. It's all the same.

You're either nodding with me agreeing or about to write a hate comment on this post disagreeing with me, but I am only saying what so many other people are thinking. It's difficult to differentiate yourself from the 10 million other blogs and influencer social accounts across the globe. However, if it means voicing my opinions and honest thoughts online to make content that little bit different and relatable; then I won't stop. 

SHOP SIMILAR STYLES


For almost six years, I have written about the gritty things in my life. From the time when I got dumped by a text message, when I lost my beloved pup, Maisy and when I walked away from an emotionally abusive relationship.  These are all negative experiences of mine, which I have turned into a positive by documenting. 

My aim is nothing but to document my memories away, but the highlight is being able to connect with so many people from around the world. People who understand that I don't beat around the bush and share real life experiences because well... this is real life and unfortunately not a world full of unicorns and glittery rainbows. 


So, I am sorry if my content on my blog or social platforms offends anyone from this day moving forward; including this post too. I am in no way going to change who I am and what my blog is all about. I speak my mind, am completely open and incredibly raw when sharing my life and that's the way things will stay.

I have no care in the world what people think anymore. In a way, I feel like I am too old to be caring about what other people think, but I thought it would be worth writing about this subject as so many of us bloggers have seen a huge rise in negativity in the community as of late.

The last thing I have to say is... if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Or at least have the confidence to @ me in your content if you feel the need to write about me in such a negative light. For now, I'll just hit the block button and carry on doing my thanggg. 

Until next time. Ta'ra. x
SHARE:

53 comments

  1. Such a shame that you've had to deal with so much crap. I'm glad that you won't let the bullies silence you. As for friendships, just enjoy your male friends. True friends, female or otherwise, come into your life when you need them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kate. I am definitely going to put more effort into those rare and genuine friendships I have. It's such a shame that it takes a lot longer when you're older to make new, good friends!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  2. haha i just uploaded an avocado and egg pic lol lol. I totally get you though, i relate and get on much better with guys than girls. I also am not a fan of public shaming there has been far too much of it lately, there is just no need and life to just to short to hate on people. Hold your strong head up and get on with it lovely, I can tell your such a beautiful person inside and out x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, no judgement because I have a blog post about avocado on toast a few years ago. However, it like so many other things seem to be everywhere and it gets so boring seeing everyone doing the same. Thank you so much for your comment, Lynne. It was lovely to read.

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  3. SLAY SLAY SLAY SLAY SLAY! Ashleigh you always absolutely kill it with your blog, and this post hits the nail straight on the head! It's so sad that people who call themselves feminists put down other women so much! The point of feminism is to RAISE EACH OTHER UP, not to tear each other down just because you happen not to like something they've posted online. Ugh. 🙄🙄 Go you for sticking up for yourself! Also can we talk about how fab you look in that leopard print coat? Because 🔥🔥🔥! Keep being strong!

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, thanks very much! I really wanted to remind the world what a true feminist is too, as some people seem to jump on the bandwagon and claim to be one, but doing the total opposite at the same time. People really do need to think about what they're doing if they're claiming to be a part of a 'group'. Anyway, thank you for being fabulous!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  4. It's a good job you are a strong enough person to react the way you have to negativity! Others may be less able to deal with hate and let it affect them. I am with you 100% on blogging all looking the same. I've unfollowed so many recently, as I'm bored of the same old. Posts like this, that a real & interesting are what grabs my attention.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello. Thanks for your comment :) I know... it does sadden me that reading such things about yourself can trigger some people. However, I think I'm just at that age now where I just don't care. I too, have had a good clear out recently and it feels SO good to get rid of negative people and blogger sheep!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  5. I was definitely nodding along with this. I've had people all my life being nice to my face but stabbing me in the back; people who I thought were meant to be my friends! I'm glad you're going to carry on writing exactly as you have been!! xx
    Holly ∣ Closingwinter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here! It's not nice, people like that are just toxic and are not worth your time.

      Chichi
      chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

      Delete
    2. Hi Holly,

      I'm so glad you can relate. This is exactly why I write posts like this, because the majority of people can relate and agree with things I am saying. It makes me feel like I am reaching out to the right audience! So, thank you!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  6. This is the first blog post of yours I've ever read (not because I was ignoring you lol but I hadn't come across your profile before) and honestly I'm glad it was. Everything you wrote is so true (especially the International women's day point) and I'm so glad you pointed it out. Luckily I've never received proper hate (only once from a very overly sensitive vegan) but I can imagine how degrading it must be, especially if it's all ridiculous gossip rumours. Well done for standing up for yourself and putting the record straight. That took guts (and girl power) :P Loved this post xxx

    The Frugal Teen | http://thefrugalteen.wixsite.com/thefrugalteen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi! Welcome to the club :) Ha, it doesn't surprise me about a vegan being overly-sensitive. I just don't understand these things these days. They're almost becoming like trends. Keep doing you though, you're great!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  7. Love this post! Carry on being your amazing self ignore low life people who clearly have nothing better to do than slag off those who are doing well in the industry Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Charlotte! Loving these positive comments, I have to say.

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  8. I think that's what blogs should be about: Being honest.
    I love what you write. Life isn't all lipstick, holidays & fancy clothes. A lot of blogs & instagrams are starting to look the same so I know where you are coming from.

    Folk that slag others off online have nothing better to do & aren't happy in their own lives.

    I will raise & g&T tonight for you being you! Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. I don't see the point in having a blog otherwise. It's like when the feminist stated that I should keep my personal thoughts and feelings to a journal/diary instead and shouldn't voice them on my blog. I just don't get it. Let's toast to those women who raise each other up!!

      A x

      Delete
  9. I'm sorry that you have to put with a lot of jealous people. I loved this post though and you just need to carry on doing what are you because you're doing a fab job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy. The response has generally been a positive one from females and I wasn't expecting it. It goes to show you my point I made about I know there's lovely girls out there, is indeed true!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  10. *A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE!*

    I am so shocked that this person decided to write a blog post slagging you off. It's not okay! But at the end of the day people who sit around hating on others are just bitter, miserable, jealous and insecure freaks who have nothing better to do with their lives than to tear others down.

    Just keep on doing your thing.

    :)

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  11. Also, a couple of things...

    1. I know how you feel about girls putting other girls down and not having girl mates. I went to girls' schools throughout my entire adolescent years and I lived with a group of girls in my first two years of university (I was at university for four years). Also I was friends with a lady from my course who was a bit older than me, and when I lived in a professional houseshare last year a girl used to live there and bring her girl friends around all the time. As a result of these girls and women, I was constantly on the receiving end of bitchy, nasty, manipulative and vicious comments, backstabbing (and front-stabbing) and general toxic behaviour from them.

    My experiences have left me feeling very wary of women (and of people in general to be honest). We live in a world where misogyny and sexism are both rife so I believe that women should lift each other up instead of making it a mission to tear each other down. I do wonder if it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: there is an assumption that all women are naturally bitchy (which is a generalisation) so as we are all stereotyped as bitchy some women feel as though they have to act that way.

    Having said this, all of my friends are women and they are lovely people who support me and set out to encourage and lift my spirits up. :) Also, I've come across men who are two-faced, manipulative and bitchy too! I met a couple of guys at university who were like this.

    At the end of the day, people who are bitchy are just pathetic losers who want to ruin people. They are not nice people at all. I don't don't bother with people like that anymore, they are a waste of time and they drain my energy.

    Life is too short and I am all about positive vibes. *insert peace sign emoji here*

    2. I really like the fact that you are so outspoken online. I write about my own opinions sometimes on my blog but I wish I could be more outspoken. I'm getting to the point in my life where I don't care about what others think of me, now I just need to express myself a little bit more.

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much lovely! This was a lovely comment to read.

      I am so sorry that you had those experiences during University. I had the exact same, so decided to shy away from groups of girls and stick to guy friendships or being alone to work in the library instead. I always found it so difficult growing up to connect with people. I'm so scared of girls now (partly because I know what it's like to have the power to make another person feel shit about themselves), so I just can't be bothered. I'm so content with the life I have!

      Keep doing you and writing about what the heck you want. I don't hover over the publish button anymore, cos I don't care what people think. I write because I like to write and if people don't like that, then don't read it. Simples.

      Going to have a read of your blog this weekend! Thanks for being supportive <3

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  12. Just keep being you, to quote Taylor Swift "haters gonna hate" - don't pander to it x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, love a bit of TS! Thanks very much, Becca. I couldn't care less about people like them!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  13. Appalling. How can you say that you hate girls, then expect people to be supportive of you? Your blog is obviously aimed at women, you're really damaging your 'career' saying things like that.
    I actually read that other girl's blog and you have completely misinterpreted what she was saying... you realise your post about your ex was far more insulting, unfair and offensive that anything that girl said about you?
    I find it hilarious that you say your blog is for you to air your opinions, yet 99% of your posts are sponsored content for things that have literally no relevance to your readership - house equity anyone?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi anonymous. No surprise there...

      I don't expect girls to be supportive of me. It's down to my followers if they want to leave comments or not. As for saying I hate girls, yes I did. However, I don't think you read the post properly. Either that, or you actually need to go back to school and learn how to read. I clearly stated in this post that I am WELL aware that there's nice and genuine girls out there, as I read positive and uplifting tweets and comments from my followers every single day. I am appreciative of this and have stated this.

      I can totally see why some people think the post that I wrote about my ex is wrong. However, to me it's not considering he lied and cheated on me. So, he deserved all the insults, the unfairness and the truth to be spilled out.

      My blog is my job and pays the pills, so yes there is sponsored content which I only accept if it's relevant to my readership. Considering you have no access to my statistics for my blog and social media, I thought I'd let you know the age range is 20-45 year olds; so I think house equity is INDEED relevant and needed to be shared.

      Carry on leaving anonymous messages. I might have a bit more respect for you if you didn't have to hide behind an account called 'No'.

      Chicken.

      Delete
  14. I hate girls that do this!! I get on much better with males too for these reasons although I am lucky enough to have some great female friends! There is so much hatred and prejudice in the world that we really should be building each other up...not knocking each other down!!! Thanks for writing such an honest post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, you're so luck to find genuine female friendships. I have always struggled... in school, college, university, jobs etc. However, that doesn't stop me from trying my very best to lift other girls up. I'm glad you agree and appreciate such an honest post. Thank you.

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  15. How pathetic for someone to actually waste their time writing up a blog post about someome they don't like, that blogger clearly needs to move on with her life! I've read your blog for years now and I wouldn't want you to stop being honest or sharing your life, as my mum says there's always going to be people who don't like you and talk about you, they're the ones with no lives!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elle,

      I know! I would never write such an indirect post about another blogger. I find it ever so sad.

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  16. I find it absolutely ridiculous that someone would actually go out of their way to write a hate comment, never mind a whole hate post about someone else. I do have a close female friends but find it very difficult to make strong female friendships, as there's so much bitching both in real life and online. Lots of people, including myself, will appreciate you writing such an honest post. P.s. Love the outfit and photography in this post!

    Amy x
    www.whatamysays.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you agree Amy! I guess some people take a lot longer to grow up :)
      xx

      Delete
  17. I can't believe someone would actually write about you (or anyone else) as this person has. We should all be able to be ourselves and voice our own opinions with no judgement or attack from anyone! Kaz x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree Kaz! And even if I did disagree with someone's post, I wouldn't then attack them for it!

      x

      Delete
  18. Honestly, it's beyond me what makes people write things like that - why can't people just keep quiet unless they have something nice to say!? Sorry you had to deal with this lovely, but glad to hear you're not letting it get to you ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's completely beyond me, but I haven't got a care in the world anymore!

      Ashleigh x

      Delete
  19. I totally feel ya! Just keep doing what your doing, it's working for you. I love your blog and admire your honest posts. X

    Evie- www.ohevie.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Evie, that means a lot xx

      Delete
  20. Oh my gosh how awful, girls can be totally fucked up, I put it down to jealous and those people or dumb arses who call you racist, clearly do not know what a racist is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, yeah throwing the R-card at me did make me laugh, a lot! I'm anything but that! xx

      Delete
  21. You tell them! What I find sad is those that hide behind the anonymous accounts. If you have something to say then say it x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree. I would never leave an anonymous message if I had a problem with someone. Chickens!! x

      Delete
  22. Found you while searching for reviews on the Ren calming mask.....I love you just from reading this post. You are wise beyond your years. I'll be digging into your blog now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww Lisa, this made me so happy to read! Really happy you're sticking around :)

      x

      Delete
  23. Love this post & good for you to ignore it - what a waste of time to worry about people who are mean :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Lylia :)! Loving this positivity!! x

      Delete
  24. Well done on this post - I'm sure a lot of us share your feelings! Constructive criticism is one thing but there's no need for bitchiness and slagging people off. I also agree about standing out - it's difficult to do with so many people posting their lives online these days, but being yourself will always win out over the 'everything has to be white and marble because that's what everyone else is doing' people. I get so bored looking through instagram and seeing the exact same things over and over.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jeez, some people must have too much time on their hands because they put so much effort into creating drama! I really admire you attitude towards unpleasant people. Just discovered our blog via twitter and I love it. You've gained a new fan!

    Ruth xxx

    (http://www.urbanity-blog.com)

    Ps. love the outfit!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I feel the exact same as you, I've struggled to connect with girls. I've always felt let down, or judges by them for the silliest things. However lads have no hassle. I use to read your blog all the time but must of lost it along the way but very much enjoying your content and how your attitude comes across to really make your blog you. don't stop being you :) xo

    ReplyDelete
  27. Lipstick swatches ��
    This is the first post of yours I've read as I've only just found your blog and I really enjoyed it. I can't believe that you're in your 20s and dealing with people writing bitch posts about you on the internet- that'd be embarrassing for high school behaviour! I'm glad you seem to have the strength and good sense to rise above it, too.
    I do have female friends but they've been a lot more fluid than the male friendships in my life- two of my absolute best friends are guys and have been for about ten years with no arguments or drama whatsoever!
    Anyway, I really enjoyed this and we'll done for calling out petty bullies. I can't wait to have a trawl and see what else you've got!

    Ada

    https://adalovelacex.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  28. Some women are bitches I have to agree but there are nice ones out there (like me!). When j was younger I had a toxic friend now I have fewer friends but much nicer ones. Don't let the buggers get you down x

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can't believe there are still other bloggers trying to bring others down. It saddens me to think it's also another woman bringing down a woman. It's not about being the feminist for the one day as you say. We should learn to empower and embrace other women rather than tear them down.

    Great post you just keep doing you!

    Amanda | http://ldnrose.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. Just came across this post and totally agree on most of the things you've stated here (love my poached eggs with avocado, so I can't agree on that part :D )! It's such a shame how girls who write about positive mindsets and healthy lifestyle choices, bring down others and spread negativity in the next minute (which clearly isn't a healthy lifstyle choice at all..). It's so much easier to find something positive to say about a person than wasting your and everyone else's time with something insulting. Please continue being your lovely self, writing these honest posts and PLEASE take money for your work whenever YOU think it's right (another thing I can't get my head around, I wouldn't read a magazine and be shocked afterwards that the author actually is getting payed..) So enough of me rambling, xxx yella

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment! If you have any questions, leave them in the comments and I'll answer them!

Blogger Template Created by pipdig